“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”
– Oscar Wilde
[Noted Irish author, playwright, novelist and poet who revealed various shades of human nature and psychology in popular works like Selfish Giant, The Happy Prince and The Picture of Dorian Gray]
Psychologists believe that without unconditional self love, an individual cannot lead a happy fulfilling life. Unless an individual accepts own self by factoring in his strengths and flaws, he will never be contended and ready to get along with others well. Upbringing here plays an important role. If a person’s attractiveness, competence, ability and intelligence are constantly ridiculed or questioned, inferiority complex [i] grows blocking the growth of self love or self esteem.
Studies say that valuing self worth on other’s views and opinions is a serious mistake for which one may have to pay a heavy price emotionally and psychologically. The person out of self hatred will never be able to grow his self esteem and his life would be doomed.
Loving others is a great virtue but loving thyself is the starter. Not loving one’s self is like constructing a multi-storied building without having its ground floor done. Mastering self love is the key to a great life. It implies doing all that will bring enough inputs to sustain the zeal to living. It certainly does not mean doing things at others’ expense. It is the effort to achieve the supreme mental, physical and spiritual health.
Loving yourself strengthens self respect and self confidence; thus, helping one to set life goals and lead a meaningful life. Automatically, it secures the lives of others who love and depend on you. You cannot realize the joy of loving others without loving yourself. Loving others might give you immense satisfaction but in reality this satisfaction is derived from self love.
Sounding tough? Not really. You can start loving yourself today with simple steps.
Eradicate the feeling of self lacking
Stop thinking, ‘I’m not good enough. I cannot do enough. I don’t have enough’. Family, society and culture imbibe certain beliefs in our minds that we start valuing ourselves as per others’ opinions causing a sharp decline in self love. I may not be supreme but I am what I am. My worth lies in my original nature. I may adjust and compromise but that will never undervalue my real worth.
Unconditional self love – Always first priority
People often take self love as a form of selfishness. Wrong here you are! Self love means self grooming or enhancing self sufficiency that helps in blooming one’s qualities making those around him feel loved as well. You can support a limping man only if you can walk right.
Love your body
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Love your body and care for it. Good health drives in positive attitude by eliminating the feeling of self lacking. Do whatever is required to be in a great shape. You will get great returns. Your glowing radiance will also touch those around you whom you love most.
Celebrate small wins
Small wins lead to great gains. Life gives enough opportunities for these. One needs to recognize them and ride on them to be a winner. Every time you succeed – no matter how small or big it is – it’s important you celebrate. At least you can motivate yourself up with a little pat on your back, if not with a mug of beer raised in the company of your beloved ones. Success doesn’t come easy so don’t forget to celebrate small wins of everyday life. This will inspire you on your future course of action.
Carve your own space
This is entirely yours. None should trespass neither you need to share with anybody. Our life should provide enough space and time to bring out our full potential. It helps in doing justice to all daily commitments without overstretching and stressing. Daily devoting 15-20 minutes for yourself is enough to make you feel great. Read, dream, relax, reminisce, sing, dance, meditate, listen to music – do whatever you feel like. Time devoted to yourself brings your inner self closer. You grow better self realization about your needs and wants. It is like putting a Do-not-disturb signage on your mind’s periphery.
Love sleeping? Enjoy it! Craving for chocolates? Munch on a bar. Love singing? What is holding you back? Want to take a short break? Pick up your backpack. A lot many things can be done to keep your soul happy and make it feel great. Treat yourself in a manner that will bring out the best in you. We all are bound by obligations and commitments but occasional self indulgence is a breather. That breaks the monotony keeping you chirpy.
Be your best friend
They say success makes you feel great and failures make you stand on your toes that something has gone wrong which needs correction. Now why failure bothers us? It is because of self love, we hate to see ourselves rolling in disgrace having been unsuccessful in our ventures. Success or no success, you need to treat yourself as your closest friend and do all that is required.