Anger is one of the most common emotions that we all experience at least once in a day. If it is kept under control, getting angry is actually a healthy emotion that helps you to understand a lot about yourself. However, the tricky part comes in when things go out of hand. Most of the time, people do not understand why they actually get angry. The sudden outburst can be an underlying problem that is actually linked to the person and not because of the situation.
Understanding the underlying factors that cause Anger
When a person has an anger problem, it is natural to keep the person at an arm’s distance. Knowing the fact that he or she will react in an unwanted manner, people tend to isolate such individuals. If you are faced with this situation, you are not alone.
At least 2 out of 10 people undergo such problems and often find it difficult to associate or socialize with others. Many challenges can come your way when you are controlling your anger. However, to get it under control, you have to first understand what exactly is ticking you off. Some of the underlying factors that can trigger the outburst could be:
Frustration
Are you having a bad day?
Are things not going the way you want?
Do you often feel helpless when you know you cannot do something?
Do you find it difficult to express what you feel?
If the answer to the above questions is a yes, then most likely the reason why you have anger outbursts is because of frustration. People get frustrated when things to do not go as per the way they plan or because of certain things.
Most people who have anger issues are often people who are frustrated about certain things. Many a times, a person may not be able to express himself/herself in the right manner. This is when they start having anger issues. Such situations irritate a person, which leads to frustration that then escalates into anger outbursts.
The solution
You have to understand that there are things that are not under your control. If you are working on anger management, it is important for you to learn the art of letting go. It is not necessary that everything should go the way you want it to be.
Fear
Many people have anger issues because they are afraid of something. It could be the fear of failure, fear of losing people that you love, or even the fear of not meeting up to someone’s expectations. To be afraid is not a bad thing. However, to let your fear control you, is the worst thing that you can do to yourself.
So how can you deal with your fears?
Well, the answer is simple. In order to deal with your fears while keeping a control over anger you have to learn to identify the root cause. Our comfort zone is also known as a protected zone. We create this world for ourselves, and it consists of all the things that make us happy and comfortable. In order to keep a control over your fears, you have to learn how to get out of your protected zone.
Example
Many people are afraid to be alone and have a fear of loneliness. One of the reasons why this can happen is when you are not comfortable with your ownself. To help you overcome your fear of loneliness, it is important to start spending time with yourself. Remember the fact that nobody will be by your side throughout your life.
Guilt
Guilt is another reason why many people have anger issues. In fact if you come to think of it, the anger outbursts due to guilt is a clear indication that a person is trying to run away from his/her feelings. Anger is one of the emotions that many people use when they want set boundaries. It is also one of the most convenient ways for humans to protect their ego.
How to control anger when you are guilty of something?
It is not easy controlling your anger especially when you are guilty about something. The best way to overcome this habit is by acknowledging that you are a human. Making mistakes is a part of life. However, acknowledging your mistakes is a difficult task.
In order to stop the guilt mode, you have to learn to accept your mistakes and work towards improving it. By reacting in a negative manner, you are only fuelling the guilt you have in you. The emotion of anger becomes deeper when your guilt starts to increase.
Basic anger management techniques that you can do yourself
Now that you have an idea of the three main reasons of what triggers a person’s anger, the next thing we will cover is the different ways of keeping a control over anger. Anger management takes time, but with a conscious effort, you can overcome this problem easily. Here are a few techniques you can use to help you control yourself when you get angry.
1. The art of deep breathing
The minute you start feeling angry, take long and deep breaths. This will help you to calm your mind down. During this time, it will be advisable to isolate yourself from everybody so that you can calm down faster.
2. Learn to let go off things
Sometimes, holding on to things does more harm than good. When a person starts to hold on to negative emotions or experiences, it makes them angrier. It is better to let go off anything that contributes or triggers your anger outbursts.
3. Accept failure or downfall as a learning experience
Failure or a downfall is a part of life. These sorts of experiences actually help us to grow. When you start accepting the fact that things can go wrong, it helps you to move ahead. Some people find it difficult to accept failure or downfall, which in turn leads to various other issues. If you really want to succeed in managing your anger, you have to learn to gain control over yourself.