Kids are either positively or negatively impacted by the behavior of their parents. Parents need to feel that they are on the same team when it comes to tackling their kids. If one of the parents starts undermining the other then the kids become negatively affected and ill-behaved. Children need to understand their boundaries. These boundaries help them grow up to be disciplined.
They need to be able to respect both the parents. If, due to one of the parents, they learn to disrespect the other parent then they cannot be easily controlled or disciplined. They start challenging the authority of the other parent and may throw tantrum every now and then. Some kids also become depressed and start feeling guilty due to the tension present between parents.
Disagreement between parents is nothing uncommon but they should learn to keep their disagreements and quarrels private. Children should not have to suffer from the problems and issues that their parents are facing. Even after divorce the parents should stay respectful towards each other so that the kids learn to respect both of them. If your kid finds out that breaking the boundaries is ok then they will keep on pushing against it.
Some kids even employ negative attention seeking techniques for disturbing their parents and annoying them. You may think that by undermining the other parent you are safeguarding your child or opening their eyes but the child may not see it in the same light. Parents should talk in private if they are unable to come to agreement regarding their parenting style.
Children must see their parents as team mates and realize that by offending one they will fall in the eyes of both. Undermining parenting makes the kids think that by disrespecting or not obeying one of the parents they can make the other parent happy. They also understand that they cannot have a healthy relationship with both the parents.
The kids of an undermining parent may lack interest in studies and feel depressed most of the times. Their self-esteem does not develop properly and they also do not have much confidence. They also learn to manipulate the parents and fulfill their heart’s desire without any difficulty.
Summary:
Parents should never undermine each other in any way. They have to be respectful to each other for the sake of their children.
