Children weave a lot of things around them, they have their own perspective of everything happening around them. Most of the parents think that they know the best for their children and do not consider the perspective of their children. Hearing out the children is important for their growth and development.
Putting yourself in the child’s shoes
Imagine if your money-laden wallet was being taken away by gushing water, how would you feel. Will you not have the urge to get it back? Similarly, when a child sees his paper boat being taken away by the water, the child is desperate to get it back. We at that time are worried about the child wetting his clothes in an attempt to catch his precious paper boat. We can give the child a better choice, let him know he would be given a bigger or a more colorful boat, better than the one he had. Likewise, there are many situations where we need to think before we react.
Be interactive with the child
Instead of jumping on to conclusions, we need to ask the child the reason for that particular thing which he/she did. When we tell the child repeatedly not to do a particular thing, the child doesn’t want to listen. That is the time, we need to question and inquire from the child the reason behind his behavior, and then analyze what we must do. A three-year-old girl kept empting a bag of candies on the floor, before reacting her mother asked her why she did that. She very innocently informed that she wasn’t finished eating them, she had taken just two by now.
Parents need to expand their horizons and have the patience of listening to the child before passing the judgment. Not allowing the child to speak will leave a negative impression on the child’s mind. Children ought to be given a fair chance to clarify their stance.
Let the child handle his own issues
It is necessary for the children to work on their issues rather than parents doing it for them every time, says child psychology expert Foster Cline. Children have the ability to learn from their mistakes, they need to be given more choices. Such situations should be developed where they are made to think and reach on a decision on their own. We must help them in explaining the consequences of a decision. Firstly, that every decision will have a consequence, it could be favorable or unfavorable. Inculcating the habit of decision making at this early stage in life will help them in taking decisions easily throughout their lives.
It is natural for parents to be protective for their children. Parents cannot be with them every time. The best way to help them is allowing them to take their decisions.
Things not to say when you disagree with your child
Telling the child that he is “incorrect” or “completely wrong” will not be a wise thing. In order to help the child we need to win his confidence. The child should not be skeptical about that we are in his team. Saying things like, “go to your room”, “be quiet,” “no arguments” and the likes will leave the child frustrated. The key is to make the child understand the situation, yelling is totally out of the question. Still if there is a disagreement in the perspective of the parent and the child, the subject should be dropped for the moment. As an intelligent parent, we can come back on the matter when the mood of the child is in better spirits.
Give your child a chance to express himself/herself freely and render importance to their perspective.