Parenting is considered to be the most difficult task, especially when it comes to a role of being a step parent. People forget that love cannot grow in a day. One needs to give time so that they develop a strong bond. Children are the most effected, as in frequent cases they belong to tender ages. The step parents should try to maintain a good relation with the child’s first family. They should never look down upon their parents or say anything that is offensive. Here we list some tips that need to be followed so that step parents and step children can share a healthy relation.
1. Understanding the differences
The first family mostly splits when a loss occurs due to the death or divorce. The step family comes into play after this. Most often children of any age start expecting a lot form the step family which is quite impossible to fulfill. They see it as recreation of their family. It is good if people understand the differences between first family and step family. They must try having some get together, Sunday outings and rock collecting together. It enables to develop a unique identity.
2. Instant relation is unlikely
It is impossible for both the parents and child to accept the new change. Indeed, it’s a big turning point. One should not expect to develop love and attachment instantly. You must though be very respectful. A good respectful behavior lets to leave a good impression upon the step children. They will see you as ideal people. Do not make any negative comments on the biological siblings or parents. This will help the growth of trust.
3. Head by biology
When a situation comes to develop discipline among the step children, the biology is the solution. After you and your spouse, have all set the rules of the house, you should let the biological parents take the charge. It is especially when the children are a little older. In case if the biological parent is absent, then the step parents must take charge of discipline and act as the adult in charge but not parent.
4. Face the inevitable questions confidently
No matter to what age the child belongs, some questions are inevitable. Whenever such situations occur, you need to be confident and be clear in what you are at home. Children may say that step parents are not their parents. Then you must replay by saying that you agree to his point and you have no intention to replace the position of his mom and dad. If there is a situation that children have broken some rules and biological parents are also unavailable, then you must handle the situation by saying that since he is the only adult right now at home, so he is in charge of the discipline here.
5. Unity is strength
Parents must develop some kind of code behavior that can be applicable to all the children present in the house. If any argument or difference arises between the two parents over discipline, then they must go out for a walk and remove all their differences. But when they are in front of the kids, they must always act united.
6. Spend quality time with kids
While one thinks, the key to become a family is creating a group identity then one must not forget to develop and maintain a healthy relation with the step child. You must take some good amount of time to spend together which may be going for a cycling together or fishing. Wherever and whenever possible, you must try getting into their world. You may try to volunteer on your step child’s sports team. You may even rearrange your drive so that you can pick him after and drop him to school. The drive time in the car is considered to be a good time for communication.
7. Avoid competition
If you already have a child, then surely he/she craves your undivided attention. But at the same time you must help your step child in avoiding some feelings of being left out. Do not try to create any competition. If any feeling as such arises then it is harmful for the whole family.
