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How to help kids get along well with siblings

When siblings get along well, it is a lovely phenomena altogether but when they do not and conflicts and fights increase, it becomes quite an ugly head. Such a relationship between siblings makes it a sorrow relationship and a real task for parents to maintain peace in home. Sibling rivalry requires a great deal of parent’s intervention but they can only help if the know why and how sibling rivalry takes place.

What causes sibling rivalry?

siblings conflict (7)

The main and major cause that gives rise to sibling rivalry is the competition children feel to win their parent’s maximum love, attention, and care. As children are immature, they fail to understand that for parents every child is equal, and they take it as a competition wherein they fight, bicker, do name calling on each other, and show immature behavior towards their siblings.

Some fights between siblings are for quite simple reasons, while the other reasons are complex. Other reasons responsible for the sibling rivalry are the jealousy kids feel of each other’s presence. Sometimes they simply derive pleasure fighting with each other, but majority of the times it is the feeling of competition.

How can parents stop this rivalry?

young child being mean

Parents can intervene and teach their children the importance and the goodness of getting along with their siblings rather than fighting all the time. You can take some of the following steps to help your children get along well with their siblings.

Avoid comparisons

siblings conflict (2)

Sibling rivalry mainly takes place when a child feels insecure and unloved because of his sibling’s presence. This could take place out of numerous reasons and one reason is the comparison that sometimes parents do between their children. They feel hurt and insecure when their parents keep appreciating their sibling all the time and giving all their attention to them. Parents should avoid discussing and comparing their children’s qualities and weaknesses in front of them.

Do not always intervene in their fights

Teenage boy and girl stick out tongues to each other

Whenever your children fight or go through a conflict, you first judge and only intervene if it is required. You should allow your kids to develop skills to work out their issues themselves, and if you intervene, ensure that you do not exhibit favoritism because it gives children a feeling that their parents are partial. Therefore, only interfere when you think the conflict is going bad and no favoritism at all.

Discipline children separately

Brother and sister arguing

When a child gets a scolding in front of his sibling, it becomes embarrassing for the child to take it and he starts thinking that it has been an insult dome to him and starts viewing his sibling as a rival. Parents should never scold or discipline a naughty kid in front of the other kid but should discipline him separately.

Give them opportunities to strengthen the sibling bond

Boy And Girl Playing On Swing In Park

Parents can help their children big way to strengthen their sibling bond by providing them enough opportunities to enjoy positive plays together.Parents must ensure that the ratio of positive and negative interactions between siblings is always like the positive outnumbers negative interactions.

Give them clear instructions

Children in conflict fight for toy

You child should know what sort of behavior is acceptable and what is not, what is right and what is wrong. Once they know all the rules clearly, and still they choose to break rules, you can punish them hard and make them realize their mistake.

Siblings having a hard time getting along arenormal phenomena, which demands parent’s interference, as they can help children get over their feelings of rivalry and conflict and enjoy time in each other’s company.


Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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