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Handling kids psychology in case of choices

An important part of growing up is learning to make the right choices. It is important that parents inculcate choosing skills in a child so that thechild learns to make better choices in life. The important question is where to draw the line so that kids don’t become stubborn. When you give the option of choices to your child it should be such that you as a parent must be able to agree to the choice your child makes.

Why give choices?

The important question here is why the child should be allowed to make choices at all? It is important that the child is allowed to choose within the limits that suit the parents. This makes the young mind feel that he or she is not being forced to do something and has some control of his or her life.

It also helps inculcate in the child the habit of self-management which will help the child as he or she grows up. It teaches your child to be more responsible and also helps in strengthening the bond between you and your kid. When you let your child choose it helps in boosting your child’s self-esteem.

Along with moral development, it also helps in the cognitive development of your child. It also helps the child learn better and will improve his decision-making skills. The most important factor here is making sure that you give the child to choose between only right things and not between right and wrong things. You have to allow your child to choose but you have to be smart enough to put the parameters such that it is as per your liking.

Why not give choices?

The best way to handle un-cooperative kids is by giving them little power. They feel on top of the world. But soon they may become more demanding and then things become tough. They may command more power and start throwing tantrums if they are not ok with the options or start putting in their own options which may not go down well with the parent.

Therefore, as parents, you have to understand the situation and react accordingly. You have to learn to balance in such a way that it turns out to be win-win situation. Also, while giving the choices try to analyse from the child’s point of view as well.Don’t give them choices that are not exactly a choice – if both options lead to the same thing, the child may lose confidence in you and you discipline.

Tips to give choices (How to give choices)

Here are a few tips when it comes to giving choices.

  • Make sure that you don’t give too many liberties when you allow them to make choices. That is if you give your kid two options to choose and he rejects both then don’t give him any more options.
  • You should give them choices on a regular basis as it will help them trust you better. They will know that you love them and want to give them the freedom to choose.
  • Include them in helping you fix problems. They will feel wanted and it will help in boosting their self-esteem.
  • If your child does something good then appreciate him or her for the same as it will help in encouraging them.

If you want your child to grow up as a responsible person who is good at decision-making then learn to give her or him the right to choose. But when you give them this freedom make sure that you draw a line somewhere so that your child does not get carried away.


Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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