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6 tips to survive new parent spats

Parenting is pure bliss and nothing else—everyone, including the parents will tell you. Indeed so, the very act of holding your bundle of joy can be the most enjoyable act on earth. However, parenting is also known to bring a lot of stress between couples. New parents especially, have been found vulnerable to stress and marital conflicts. A study by Gottman Relationship Research Institute, which is a counseling and a research center in Seattle, has revealed that at least 70 percent of the couples experience a decline in marital pleasure right after a baby is born.

There are a number of reasons why parenting can cause stress and strains in marital lives. The baby however, is definitely not one of those. It has been found that working couples are more vulnerable to conflicts than others. This is because with limited time available for attending the baby, the division of responsibilities can sometimes be uneven. Many couples fight over things as trivial as how to make a baby burp. Researchers find that a very important reason couples experience a decline in marital pleasure is that they fully enter the mommy-and-daddy mode and the romance factor takes a backseat. The following sections give tips to overcome parental spats.

1. Discuss the division of responsibilities clearly

This is best done before the child is born. Since you and your partner know about your workplace responsibilities and pressure, you need to plan how to best use the time at home. Chalk out a list of responsibilities (such as changing diapers and putting the baby to sleep) and discuss who is going to do what. If you need groceries for the month, you could buy it on your way back home from office. And yes, if your partner is unable to fulfill his or her responsibilities once in a while, make it a point to help your partner out.

2. Do not deprive yourself of sleep

Lack of sleep has been established to be one of the biggest stress factors, after a baby is born. When you lose sleep, you tend to become more irritable and no one does the irritability impact more than on your partner. What is worse is that your productivity at office also suffers eventually. So grab a nap whenever the baby sleeps. Refrain from doing household chores or making phone calls. You can also develop some good sleeping habits in your baby. At night, turn the television and the bright lights off. This ensure that the baby does not stay awake because of excitement.

3. Keep the romance alive

Have you and your partner felt that love has declined between the two of you? If yes, then this happens to many new parents. The main reason for this is that the baby grabs all the attention which is not unnatural. You need to realize that love slips away unnoticed and you experience it every day without being able to do anything about it at all. This is the time to spice up the romance. Make a list of things your partner likes. How did you woo your partner before you got married? Bring along a surprise gift for your partner on your way back from office or make breakfast for him or her without telling. The more creative you are in this phase, the better will you sustain the romance.

4. When angry, put things off

Often, a tiff over trivial matters can get worse because of those heat-of-the moment acts or remarks. If you feel like venting your anger on your partner, when you see stuff strewn all over the house, then force yourself to keep quiet and walk away from the place. If you say something unpleasant to your partner, you will get an angry retort and things might escalate beyond redemption. And the consequence? Stress and marital rifts.

5. Recognize that there can be multiple ways to bring up your baby

Do you frequently tell your partner that the way the baby is fed is not right? Do you constantly fight over which massage oil to buy for your baby? If that is so, you need to know that there are multiple schools of thought on how to bring up your baby. When you are about to squeal at any of your partner’s approaches, first think whether it is going to benefit the baby. If it does, then do not argue and if it does not, calmly explain why you are opposed to your partner’s idea.

6. Share the expenses

Does your partner tell you that you do not spend as much as on the baby as you should? This happens very often for working couples. In cases like this, it is best to make a list of items your baby requires and decide mutually who will buy what. Prepare a family budget and discuss respective contributions clearly. This helps to overcome a lot of ambiguities.

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