As your teen is growing up, you might observe that he or she responds even more actively to peer pressure than before. Your teen’s friends are just as old as your teen and do not think or judge things the way a mature adult does. That means wild partying, experimenting with drugs, drinking, and a lot more risky behavior. Knowing about the kind of exposure that your teen has to face might sometimes overwhelm you as you wonder about your parenting skills. But, remember to always maintain a calm, cool head and keep in mind the fact that communication is key. Do not alienate your child by making him or her think that you are the enemy that must be rebelled against. Instead, establish a trusting relationship where you advice your teen without pestering him or her, while lending your ear to your teen’s concerns as well.
While you are at it, you will realize that a time comes when you cannot avoid having ‘the big talk’. The one about drugs and alcohol- a topic that is crucial to be discussed by you, and completely understood by your teen. Given the vital nature of this conversation, here are some pointers that will help you make it more comfortable and interactive.
1. Never jump to this kind of a chat with your teen. If you do so, it might seem like an accusation on him or her, and will cause your teen to be on guard during the discussion, when what you want is a open dialogue. Instead, tell your teen that now that he or she is growing up to more freedom and later curfew hours, it is important that you have a little chat about the kind of influences that he or she might be exposed to. It is essential that you state this as your reason. This will assure your child that this is a routine talk and not an allegation against him or any of his friends. Pick a time that is comfortable for both parties, but do not make it out to be a very formal event.
2. Next step would be to do a research. Read up online about the places that teens might have access to drugs and alcohol. Make mental notes of anecdotes that you could use during your talk about the effects of substance abuse. If you come across videos or other multimedia that adds to your point, then use it. This will give your teen the impression that you are not trying to preach. Make sure that it is light and fun, while still delivering the message. Do not use gory pictures of drunk-driving accidents or such. An old aid is the PSA from Archie’s Comics that delivers the message very lucidly and asks you to just ‘say no to drugs’.
3. During the talk, do not show signs of nervousness. Go over it in your head as many times as you have to, but do not make it sound rehearsed. If your teen has any inputs in between, encourage him or her to voice their thoughts. Nod to show that you are on the same page as they are and that you understand. Do not let anything shock you such that you lose your calm. Remain level-headed throughout, and remind yourself to handle it as the adult that you are.
4. Bring along some cookies and hot chocolate for you and your teen to talk over. This will put both of you in the comfort zone. However, turn off the television and put away any other distractions that might sidetrack you or your teen.
5. Once you have covered all the points that you set out to talk about, ask your teen if he or she has anything to share, or any questions to ask. If you are not sure about answering a question that is being posed to you, do not worry. Tell your teen that you need some time to think it over and will get back to him about it after a while. Make sure that you do.
6. Remember that helping your child refrain from alcohol and drugs is a process. It does not end with this talk. Providing your child with a good neighborhood during his formative years is of great importance. That does not mean you need to break the bank, but take precautionary methods. Also, make sure that the parties that your child attends are chaperoned. In case you are worried, meet the adult who is chaperoning the event in person and become friendly with him or her. Do not convey your concern outright as that may not be necessary. Personally knowing your child’s close friends is also a great idea. Encourage your child to bring friends over to dinner or to spend some time at home after school.
7. Help your teen build a good self-image, the lack of which is the reason that many youngsters resort to drugs and alcohol. Go easy on your child and do not belittle him or her and lash out criticism.
8. Last but not least, while being accessible to your child is important, this does not require you to be a pushover. Be firm and stand your ground when you know you must.
