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Preteen crushes: What you need to know

Handling your child’s love life might be a dreaded nightmare for you especially during the preteen years. The first sign which gives parents a hint about their child’s crush is when the child starts to talk about a particular opposite sex friend a little too much. Preteen crushes are the cornerstones of your kid’s growing years and thus can not be avoided. The rise of hormones during the preteen years result in arousing romantic feeling in the child which makes him/her feel attracted towards someone. A lot of fantasies are involved at this stage and the kids usually feel overwhelmed.

1. Follow the signs

It is important as a parent that you must try to grasp signs of your preteen indulging in romantic endeavors. It is important to handle the child properly to avoid heart break and aggressive behavior. Preteen girls are more likely to develop feeling as compared to boys. Intensive texting and IM chatting can be observed to have taken a priority for the child, these method of communicating adopted by the preteen gently sideline the parents from the picture. As parents it is important for you to keep tabs on the kid’s activities, knowing your child’s password might be of great help but you need to ensure that the child does not feel offended.

2. Be there for your little one

It is highly important for you to stand by your child so that he or she does not feel lonely and depressed. You need to befriend your ward and try to talk openly about things like affairs and dating. Be a good listener, keep your anger to yourself and maintain your calm in all circumstances. Being a parent it is your prerogative to protect your child’s self esteem. Let your child accept rejection in healthy spirit and stay motivated for leading a happy life. Being a parent you need to keep tabs on your child’s lifestyle, acknowledge the fact that early relationships often lead to depression, alcohol and drug abuse, low grades and even sexual activity. Talk about issues like sexual health, protection, family values, etc with your child. Encourage talking as a family and appreciate your child.

3. Avoid criticizing

Tough words often do more bad than good. Do not criticize your little one for bad behavior instead look out for reasons for such a behavior and help your child learn good manners. Do not force your child to adopt a certain lifestyle, just create a good atmosphere at home so that the child himself or herself realizes mistakes and follow a good path in life. It is extremely important to deal with a preteen in a proper way, mainly because the preteen years are just building blocks of the teenager life at which the child is all the more vulnerable. If your child has started indulging in bad habits like drug and alcohol abuse, sexual activity, aggressive behavior, poor academic performance try to be helpful by being a friend more than a parent. Choose your words with extreme caution and deal with your child like a friend who is ready to help. Do not forbid your kid from seeing his or her crush unless the very safety of your kid is at stance. Do not break your child’s trust and do not over interfere.

4. Lay down some acceptable rules for your preteen

If you know that your child has a boyfriend or girlfriend you will need to lay down some rules that are to be followed in all conditions. You need not be a dictator but just put your words clearly before your child without hurting their feeling. Do not leave your kid in the house alone with his or her crush. Make sure that room’s door is open when your child’s friends are home, however do not make it seem like a privacy intrusion. Keep a track of your child’s online surfing record.

5. Do not over react

Most of the times parents tend to over react or at least the kids believe so. Keep your calm at all time and avoid being brash with your little child. Respect your preteen as an individual and be acceptable to changes with time so as to forge a healthy and strong parent child bond. Do not create an environment wherein the child is forced to lie or hide things from you. Remember the time when you were young and had crushes at school, let your child grow in a healthy and happy manner.

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