Parents needs to address the issues of the children especially bullying in a careful manner. You have to ease out the situation and not make it worse for the child. Follow a stepwise approach as discussed here can be helpful.
Addressing the child’s issues
It is a must to listen to your child first, give him your time. Keep aside what you think of the situation and let the child narrate everything to you. Your child needs your support, love and affection to come out of the situation. Clarify to your child that if he has been bullied it does not mean that he is weak, either does it imply that the bully is strong. Your child needs to be taught about self-confidence.
The body language that anybody has and the tone of the person’s voice are indicative about the level of his confidence. The confident the child is the lesser are the chances that a bully may catch him. The bullies are looking for people who would react to them, if they come across anybody who is not bothered, they would stop.
Another way to help your child is by making him participate in extracurricular activities, like a dance class, martial arts or any other hobby class that might interest the child. The child will meet new children and make more friends, and would gain confidence too. You can also enact scenarios where you play the bully and your child is the victim. See how the child reacts and tries to face the situation with confidence.
What not to do
The bullying can get worse if you just walk up to the school and speak with the class teacher, the principal or demand to see the parents of the bully. It has been practically observed that the bullying is intensified after this. This has to come to a later stage, initially you must teach the child to handle the situation confidently.
It is unwise to reject the child’s experience of bullying. Listening patiently to what the child has to say will ease him in the first place. Never every tell him to solve the problem on his own or comment that it happens with everybody in life.
Support from school
The law requires all the schools to have anti-bullying guidelines. It is suggested by Bullying Prevention and Education Consultants that as a parent you must start with a complete inquiry into the situation. Only then, reach the school authorities for support. Has it happened earlier too? Who all were involved in it? Who saw the events happening? Did your child do anything to provoke the situation?
There is no point blaming the school for such incidents. The friends of your child will be the first to know of such incidents. The teachers would in fact know about the situation after the parents most of the times. Whenever you visit, the school makes sure you have a prior appointment. Make it clear to the authorities of the school that the school and you will together find a solution for the issue/s.
What if the situation doesn’t improve?
If the bullying involves physical assault, if they are serious ones contact the police. Alternately, take pictures and show them to the school authorities. Make a note of all bullying incidents, keep complete details of the incident, including who all were involved and who all witnessed it. Every time a bullying incident occurs, inform the school, schools can take serious action on the bully. From informing the parents of the bully to expelling the child, the school has a number of ways to deal with the situation.
From giving confidence to your child to informing the police, several levels of bullying require a different kind of reaction. Choose what is the best-suited action, for the situation, your child has gone through.
