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Helping children who think they don’t fit in

At some point or the other in life, children feel that they do not fit into a group, be it at their school, or neighborhood. Even adults get this feeling sometimes, but the difference lies in the understanding. If an adult feels that he does not fit in a particular group so he thinks over it and derives a conclusion that what is it that makes him different from the group, and this understanding solve all anxiety. However, when children face such a situation they are not sensible enough to analyze the real cause of the problem, and thus feel the pain and disgust. The desire to fit in a group is much more in children than adults, as they derive a great sense of security and safety when they belong to a group.

When a child gets a feeling of not fitting in a group, it means he feels insecure. He starts feeling anxious because of the mere thought that he is different from many other children. Life at school or in a neighborhood park becomes difficult for such a child because they are the soft target for the ones who love to bully children. It is an excruciatingly painful phase for a child when the bullies pick him for being different. Such children deserve an absolute support of parents who can teach children the required skills to get over this difficult phase. Following are some tips for parents that will enable them to help their child in the best possible way:

Do not overreact

When your child comes up to you and complains that some children bully him at school, make sure you do not overreact, especially in front of the kid. Hearing this from your child will infuriate you, you will feel helpless, and the helplessness will make you overreact. However, you must understand that overreaction is not a solution to this problem, rather listening in calm and composed manner would be more helpful in such a situation.

Give assurance to your child

When a child talks his heart out to you regarding some problem, it means he wants your help. Therefore, it is of paramount importance for parents to give assurance to a child that come what may they are there for him always and everywhere. Listen to his grievance and promise him that you will solve his problem at the earliest.

Teach your kids social skills

Parents should teach their kids all the social skills that help a child to behave normal and according to situations. You should teach them ways to read social situations, as in your child must be able to distinguish between children who love his company and the ones who hate him, or do not like him much. You should teach them to avoid and stay away from such children who are bossy and are likely to hurt their feelings.

Teach kids to maintain their calm

When kids feel left out, or someone in the school differentiates between them, they lose their temper easily and sometimes panic. They are not so sensible, such situations get on their nerves, and they temporarily lose their power to behave reasonably. Therefore, every parent must teach their children that they must remain calm and should not lose their temper easily. Parents can use a variety of methods to teach their children the skill to stay calm.

Make him understand that it is good to ask for help

Parents must teach children that whenever you are in a problem, you should never hesitate to ask for help.


To be a misfit for a group is one big pain that a child experiences when he desires to be a vital part of that group. A child tends to lose self-confidence and become aggressive. Parents should go to any extent in order to save their child from the excruciating pain that they feel on being alone.


Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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