Do you wish to be your teen’s best friend? The very concept might seem to be a bit far-fetched, but cannot be ruled out as impossible at all. Nowadays, teenagers do regard their parents as friends if not bosom buddies. But remember, life has changed a lot since your teen period. Life without cell phones and Facebook is unthinkable for them. You must also remember that your teenager is not mature enough to make sensible decisions without your supervision. Till they reach their twenties, the main parts of their brain correlates everything with sentiments, decision making and forming strategies have not been completely formed. For this reason, as a parent, it is a must to take active involvement in their lives. Try not to behave, converse or dress up like them. You have to be a natural blend of the best friend and the guiding parent.
Here are some under wrap instructions and if you follow them carefully, it might help you to get some brownie points regarding your relationship with your teen.
1. Build your relationship on trust
There cannot be any games or unknown schemes between both the sides. The relationship has to be based on total sincerity which has to be constant. Whatever your teen discusses with you has to be kept firmly confidential. This will obviously assist in strengthening the trust.
2. Pay complete attention
You must pay attention to your teen when they are ready to have that talk with you. Be as open minded as possible and talk to them, even if it means waking up at odd hours to do so. This will enable you to have a stronger bond with your kid even during their “I am self sufficient” phase.
3. Remember your times
Do you remember the time when you were a teenager? I am sure; you had your own little problems then. Sometimes it is good to be a little bit flawed, if only for a good purpose. Come clean about your own gaffes and do not even hesitate to apologize for that matter. You have to be your real self as much as possible.
4. Consider them as adults
Converse with your teen as adults but keep in mind that they still have a lot to grow up. You have to be as elastic as possible, but you cannot bend absolutely. Become a considerate parent and try to concentrate on what your teen is talking about or going through.
5. Comforting surroundings
Try to make your home as comfy as possible for your teen. This is not only about the look; it is also about the vibes that are generated. Your child should feel at ease and receptive enough to get all his friends in. Remember at this age, Impression of his friends is really a vital factor.
6. Quality time together
Spend quality time with your teen. Do not make the mistake of becoming an over judgmental parent who is only aware of faults and flaws. If you keep on criticizing your teen, very soon he will not pay any heed to your advice at all. For your child, you must be genuine, supportive and affectionate.
7. Let him face it
Let your teen go through his letdowns in life. You cannot always clear away the path for him. Think about it this way; what better than home for learning all the realities of life. If they fail, they have such loving and supportive parents they can always count on.
8. The balancing act
You have to be a very balanced person before you become a balanced parent. What you practice yourself should be what you preach. So, set up pragmatic principles in life. Look ahead for them to make positive choices in life.
9. Let them decide
While you assist them in cracking their predicaments, talk about the preferred results first and also discuss the different approaches towards resolution of the problem. Then give them the freedom to make their own decisions on the basis of reality and not as a response to sentiments.
10. Provide that space
You must set a proper course of action for them and obviously with their contribution in the matter too. This will be good as they will identify this as a rational matter and something which is for their benefit. Anything that you might discuss, should not seem to be a cross-examination to them. Communication has to be both ways and teen should not be afraid to approach you to discuss anything for that matter.
11. No compliance
Never ever think of intimidating your child into compliance. Remember as parents, it is our responsibility to direct our children and coach them how to live as functional members of the society.
