This article seeks to discuss 5 key step-parents mantras which will be useful for blended families or step-parents. These tips will allow step-parents to gradually form a lasting relationship with their stepchildren and deal with the challenges involved effectively.
The first mantra is to first earn respect rather than aiming at affinity with your step children. Gaining respect is of paramount importance and lays the primary foundation for a loving and supportive blended family environment. Try to gain respect with stepchildren instead of aiming at a great friendship.
The second mantra to remember is that you can never replace a biological parent. Every family is admittedly different, however one thing remains constant. No one can ever replace the status a biological parent has. As such, never try to become the parent for the child may then begin to resent you. This will make it tougher for you to build a loving family environment. As a step-parent, you are now involved in and part of a team which is responsible for the healthy growth of the children in that family. If this means having a strong relationship with only their biological, so be it. You cannot try and impose your presence and status on the stepchild.
The third mantra is to never cross your bounds. As much as it will take you time to get adjusted to stepchildren, the children have a tougher time getting adjusted to a new parent. In many cases, it takes a long time for children to get used to the presence of another parent like figure. Do not impose your authority on your stepchildren where discipline is concerned. Instead, let the biological parent handle the discipline at least initially. If you exert your authority too soon into the relationship, it may very well backfire on you. The children may then begin to despise you and frictions may be caused between you and your new spouse.
The fourth mantra is to bear in mind that it is never all about you. Although you would like to have some importance in the family, it is a very challenging task. Being a step parent is no cake walk and will need lots of adjustments. As such, you will have lots to learn from your new spouse as well as the children he may have. Different children are different in terms of temperament, personality and so on. As such,as difficult it would be for a young children to accept you as a parent, you will need to adjust your actions according to the children. Being a stepchild is no easy task as this means sharing the time, love and attention of a parent with an adult who may look threatening. Always remember this when your stepchild does not give you the respect you feel you deserve or when she fails to put on proper behavior The road is tough for the child to navigate and you should help him/her tread that road with you as a support.
Finally, you may want to get the support of support groups who consist of people in the same situation as you. This way, you will have someone to lean on if you find the journey difficult. Additionally, you will also be able to gain valuable tips on how to create a happy blended family.
