When we come to identify parenting styles, then we distinctly find two categories of parents- the intimidator and the encourager. The latter makes use of punishments as a strategy for parenting in order to get the child to understand the particular acceptable behaviour. On the other hand, an encouraging parent makes use of positive reinforcement in order to encourage the child to work towards a particular behaviour.
- Looking at these two distinct methodologies, one should not mix pampering with encouragement. Pampering means when a parent does something for the child on a very frequent basis like waking them up, making lunch or breakfast, doing their laces and so on. This makes the child lethargic and taken things for granted. Infuse independence in the child and do not make him dependent on you as a parent.
- On the other hand, a child grows up with mixed feelings of failure and fear with an intimidator parent to the extent that he or she become ruthless in the ambition to reach to the top, even at the cost of others or might simply fear taking chances. Likewise, an overdose of encouragement makes children dependent to the extent that they will not be able to take criticism constructively, leading to self-doubt.
- Do not overlook behaviour that is unwanted and unacceptable. Try to remove your child from such a situation, but make it clear that such behaviour will not pass.
- Ignore unwanted behaviour and do not react as most children try to catch attention with tactics like crying and tantrums.
- Do not say “no” as children do not like to listen to negatives. Instead, give them a positive alternative that can replace the bad behaviour.
- Never bribe the child with something for behaving in a certain way. This reinforces a very wrong message as it equates good behaviour with getting paid. Instead, spend quality time with your child as that is the best reward!
Parenting is a tough business and there is a fine line between what is good and what is not. Hence, one good tip for effective parenting would be to do away with praising the child or reacting to a child’s inappropriate behaviour until it is something that is significant.
Indeed, it is a tough job to decide the appropriate parenting strategy, but remember that each child is different and you should use your instinct to help you decide the same!