Co parenting your kids with your ex can be an arduous task, especially if the divorce was not mutual. Your kids are definitely going to feel the pang of your separation as well? So how do you go about parenting them with the help of your spouse who has now become your ex? Simple, follow the tips mentioned below for help in this matter.
Do not use your kids as tools
You would be terribly angry with your ex. The divorce would also be very painful for you. But don’t take that as an excuse to use your kids as tools against him/her. Put your kids first and then your individual wishes afterwards.
Is there a way things could be worked out in an amicable manner? Would you be able to stay together for the sake of your children? Or would you be able to raise them as parents even if you don’t stay together anymore? Sit down with your ex and discuss these issues with your ex, keeping the future of your kids in mind while doing so.
Respect your Ex
You may have very little respect for your ex after the divorce. But make sure you don’t show your emotions to your kids. No matter how bad he/she may be, he/she is still your child’s father/mother. As such, your child would tend to love him/her irrespective of how he/she hurts you. So while you can pour out your emotions to a friend or family member, never reveal them to your kids as this would only hurt and confuse them further.
If your child comes to you about an issue with your ex, make it a point to listen to him/her without necessarily putting your ex down. You may hate him/her to the core. However, you would need to find out a way to put up with him/her for the sake of your child.
Good Relationship with Step Parents
Another important thing you would need to understand with respect to co parenting your kids with your ex is their relationship with their step mother/father. It is important that your kids share a good relationship with your ex’s spouse, especially if they are going to live with him/her in the same house.
As a responsible parent, you would need to understand that although you may not be there to help your kids; your ex’s spouse would be able to take your place. So try to break the ice and build a rapport between your kids and your ex’s spouse before moving out. The same applies if you want to remarry as well.
Your ex may by unsupportive when it comes to co-parenting your kids. However, you would need to put aside your differences and think about your children. Follow these tips to make the process easier for both you now that you plan to move on with your respective lives.