In this ever changing world, dating has become a common lifestyle behavior. Adults have the maturity to handle it. Teens are still in their adolescence age and are too young to cope up with various emotional and physical aspect of dating. Teens are to be treated as toddlers. They have grown in physically and by age. But they still lack the maturity to deal with mental pressure.
Parents also need to understand dating is an important milestone for the child like crawling, standing, walking etc. It becomes the responsibility of the adult to make the teen aware about a healthy dating. Dating is about maintaining a healthy relation, it’s all about how you handle relationships. Teens will learn the skills during the process of dating and also learn to trust their own feelings which are vital to maintain a good relation.
Making and breaking rules
Set the rules and be flexible based on the situation. Consider your child’s personality and characteristics. Set the limits as you did when she was a toddler. It will be lot more easily if dating is discussed within the family since they are young. Setting the rules will be the top of your list and layout rules that work for your family.
The first question before proceeding is to set the right age. You need to make this decision and find if your child is old enough to go on a date. There nothing as a set age or the right age. Take the decision based on your child. Look for these aspects in your child like, responsibility, self respect, respect for others, believe in himself, trust on people, respect for family values and parents. If your child is of rebellious in nature, it’s not ideal for him to start dating early. He needs to wait till 18 or so.
The conventional idea of dating is no more valid now. The teens don’t consider that as dating but term it as “going out”. Boy and girl start at specific time and place, brings her back at a stated time is no longer considered a date. Teens like someone they see, occasionally talk, group they are interested with. The groups change as they grow. As child starts dating someone older, one-on-one dating is introduced.
It’s not harsh for the child to start with stricter rules till they are matured enough to understand the situation. This is the way to protect your child. Be clear on what type of date to have and with whom etc. till they get older and show responsibility.
Dating Don’ts
Your child should not date someone much older. Researchers and experts have studied data for over the years depicting that dating older partners raises the risk of sexual activity and leads to teen pregnancy. The age difference preferred would be one or two year older to your child if they are in their teen. Remember teens are not adults and three-four years difference makes a lot of difference. If the age difference is more, it leads to differences in many things and results to extremely unbalanced relationship.
Violence
Research shows that 30% of the teenagers have experienced violence when they were dating. This situation arises if the child’s boyfriend or girlfriend is of violent nature. These teens donot mind about their friends or even don’t hesitate to go to school and show signs of violence. This is bad in the relationship. This is when they need an adult’s help. They need help in getting out of the relationships and need to know how it can be done.
Sexual activity
The best rule which works to avoid sexual activity is by not allowing them to date somebody older to them. If your child is quite old, then continually talk to them about values and expectations from them to keep the family values right. It may seem that they are not listening, but they are conscious of their parent’s advice. It’s the parent’s responsibility to know where your child is and with whom. Always ensure that your child is safe and with trusted person, people or group.
Disliking a date
Instead of avoiding or restricting, make the date comfortable so that you can keep a watchful eye on them. You can then ask your child what you like in that person and guide in the selection of the date. Always remember this phase will pass like they grow from infant to toddler and now reached the teens. Tell them, ”It’s a journey and speeding is not allowed. If you speed, you meet with accidents”. Keep the rules in place and it becomes lot more easy.
