How can one know when to draw the line between spying and protection of kids? The current influences that technology affords for kids, the parents are usually left puzzled about where to go and what to do to keep a tab on what the kids do. Taking a past recall, parents almost thirty years back could find an access in their kids life by simply reading their diaries however today parents have to go online so as to track what the kids are doing and the dangers lurking around them. While it is very much possible to keep the kids safe but parents need to be really careful when they decide to spy on the kid for protection sake.
Parents spying on kids make use of social media sites where kids develop virtual relationships. Beyond the home walls, it becomes very important for parents to make use of technology to monitor the child’s behavior. These factors can include web cams that are hidden and other tracking devices including electronics and phones or devices for online monitoring of activities.
Studies recently undertaken reveal that over 84 percent parents live with a belief that children are self-responsible for the online activities that they undertake. However more than 72 percent are also actively monitoring what the kids do online. However, most kids are smart and they undertake privacy settings and other hiding possibilities, which create a gap in between what the parents see and what the kid is actually doing.
There is nothing warm or fuzzy about spying on kids. This can instead invoke weariness on both the sides accompanied with distrust. It takes years down the row to build and work on relationships but sometimes the only choice left to parents is to go behind the kid and check if the choices they make are actually similar to the ones that we want them to.
Adverse effects of spying
Spying has its own set of dangers. Primarily being uncovering what you have caught without destroying the trust that is present between you and your kid. How can parents let their kids know that they have been caught lying? Well the very first thing is that probably there is a weak link of trust between you and the kid that has resulted in this behavior.
Entrapping the kid with the information will also deteriorate the trust that you share with them. Building strong relations with kids who are in their teenage becomes very difficult and spying only tangles this further.
The best possible alternatives to spying include establishing clear expectations much before the situation complicates. Using clear and straightforward lines to set your expectations work really well. Let your kid know that you hold an alternate access to their lives both virtually and in the real scenario. Tell them that nothing is off your limit including their cell phones, bedroom and friend gatherings.
In addition, there are certain online sites that let parents practice access blockage for their kids. As a parent, you need to ensure that the mates they go around with don’t follow a history of poor choices and this shouldn’t in anyway harm your kid. Be smooth and respectful in your conversation, so as to support your children and build the trust factor.
When is Spying the only resort?
Sometimes spying becomes a necessity and these are particular occasions when the kids can wishfully make mistakes and fall under wrong influence. No matter how hard the parents try, kids can make mistakes and this asks for immediate involvement of the parents for the kids’ safety. Some legitimate causes of spying include:
a. A history of drug abuse in kids when there is no other option left but to check for the kids safety.
b. Indication of harmful relationships wherein violence and mental abuse can be suspected.
c. History of serious deceit and lying practiced by the kid.
d. If the kid is mentally unstable and can harm self.
An alternative to spying
Though the above-mentioned points are liable to spying, yet parents should try and avoid spying even if their only intention is to keep the kid safe. Instead, parents should focus on relationship building particularly during the early years. Strong and respectful relationships will enhance the trust factor and there will be less chances of you having to go behind your child’s back and to check on their every move. It’s better to be there for your kid along with the independence instead of tracking them out for their every single move.
