Every parent at one point of life has felt the guilt of not being a good parent. Besides the fact that parents do everything for us, they have guilt inside for not being a perfect parent. Mothers are more emotional as compared to fathers and almost every mother goes through this feeling of mother guilt.
Eliminating or vanquishing guilt is not necessary, but taking proper measures to get over this feeling is what a parent needs to do. Fist thing a mother can do to get rid of the guilt is to understand her feelings. Knowing what is going on inside the mind and heart can solve half of the problem. If such feeling is taking over your mind, it is better to divert the mind in doing activities that soothes your mind like dancing, reading or meditation. These activities helps in relaxing mind and body and one can think better and positive.
Overcoming this feeling of Mother Guilt is not a problem. In fact, feeling guilty is not a problem as long as you can deal with it, learn from it, and use it to constructively. Here are few effects of guilt on a person.
Pros of Mother Guilt:
Mother Guilt is common and can have some positive effects on her. Guilt is an internal alarm that tells a person what is going wrong inside. It can really motivate her to do well as a parent and can improve, where she feel is lacking. Nobody likes to hold on guilt feeling for long, so this feeling can motivate in becoming a better person. Moreover, whenever a mother feels guilty of something, she must immediately take certain step to get rid of it. Doing this can reduces stress and she can make better decisions. So, guilt of a mother motivates her to be a better person by improving weak points in her.
Guilt can result in better relationships. When the mother feels guilty of something, it is natural to behave differently. A parent will be ashamed, sad, and perhaps even try to isolate herself from the family. A mother can should communicate her feelings to her child, for which she feels guilty. Communicating her feelings can avoid misunderstandings, open the doors to communication, and build a strong relationship. A guilt feeling can lead to a better and strong relationship.
Cons of mother guilt:
Guilt is a way to punish oneself
Guilt is nothing but a way to punish oneself. Over thinking for something that might not be true can leave you with mindful of stress and it can worsen the situation. Avoiding the problem in such cases will not work. Mothers who think themselves as terrible parents are just making themselves sick. In addition, this may contribute to further souring the relationship with a child. So it is better to let go this feeling of guilt and try to find happiness.
Negative impact on children
When a mother is not feeling good, it affects everybody at home. She is the one looking after everything at home, so her mood affects the environment at home. Besides that, a mother feeling ashamed of herself can affect children negatively. Children can assume their mother weak to handle the situation and a child often follows their parents. It is better to get over it as soon as possible to avoid bad impact on a child.
Mother guilt is inevitable as many unavoidable things happen in the family. In such situation, a mother herself needs to do something about her guilt and make sure her family to suffer from it.