Teenage is the most sensitive as well as difficult stage, for both parents and children, which needs controlled supervision, a friendly atmosphere and transparency in relationship between the concerned teenager with at least one of his parents for a healthy and sensible understanding of the difficult phases of a teen-hood life. ‘No knowledge is better than little knowledge’, keeping this in mind and providing factual information about dating and sex, along with moral guidance, in an honest and truthful manner, to your adolescent child are the key to a better understanding and adapting of sexual desires at this age.
Tips to making discussion easier with teens on dating and sex
1. Clear communication of values
Good moral values can never partake unexpected behavior from your child in any regard. Communicating your expectations in clear cut terms, yet in a caring manner, and drilling it into your child’s mind by reminding him of the same from time to time, can carve a deeper niche in his mind which facts and figures are unable to do. Let your child know that you believe in him and are sure of his capabilities, this will make him mold his actions to meet your expectations and will enable him never to let you down.
2. Your actions should match your words
A child always follows the footsteps of his parents, so, if you do not prove to be a good role model, do not expect your child to abide by your rules and respect your decisions. Actions speak louder than words, so, make sure to always exhibit positive relationships and healthy habits to inculcate good vibes in the minds of your teenager.
3. Talk about sex at a young age
Indulging in sexual talks and encouraging open conversations regarding the same at a young age can help resolve a lot of stiffness and hesitations. It is easy and better to discuss about puberty and relationships right from the early stages so as to continue talking about them as your child matures. Ensure to give simple and honest answers in regard to these topics as they arise in the media or between friends and kin rather than being ‘hush, hush’ about them in front of your growing child.
4. Be a good listener
Being accessible and approachable to your teenager child by listening his heart out regarding sensitive issues can help break the ice between the two of you. Indulge in and take time out to find out about simple things which are a part of his everyday routine. This will assist your child to connect to you with his queries related to sex and other touch issues. But remember never to misguide your little one by giving incorrect answers or beating around the bush. Be straight forward and honest in answering his questions.
5. Make information available
As you discover your child is about to enter into his teen-hood, make books, videos and pamphlets on adolescence available for him to go through according to his whims and fancies. Your neglecting the issue can only prove to be more cumbersome as teenagers would find out other ways to get answers to their inquisitiveness.
6. Be involved
To keep a track of your child’s behavior, it is very important to get involved and find out about his school activities. Make sure to be informed of the kind of sex education being provided by the school by asking for presentation reviews and be courageous enough to raise your voice if you find that the method adopted is not right.
7. Balance your discussions
If you close your eyes on something, the problem will not disappear, in fact it will pounce back on you even more harshly. Similar is the case if we try to neglect discussing sensitive issues with teenagers. On the contrary, we should balance our debates on sex by talking about its aspects within the limitations of marriage and the responsibilities that come along with it. A healthy discussion can pave way for a brighter future for you as well as your growing child.
8. Point out the positives
Discussing issues like drug use, early sexual involvement and other self destructive behavior does not mean imposing and pointing out its negatives to him every now and then. Try to build a positive environment by praising and complimenting your child on his good deeds so as to boost up his self confidence, opening doors for him to indulge in a ‘one is to one’ conversation with you.
9. Good reasoning
Today’s generation does not believe in blind-foldly listening and adapting to advises, it demands proper reasoning and explanation for any point put across to them. Always support your suggestions, rather than imposing them, with good reasoning for your teen-aged child to identify himself with it.
10. Know facts before sharing
Making your child feel guilty or fearful of a shameless act can only turn him into getting more rebellious. Learn about teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and puberty before sharing them in a non-threatening manner so as to make your offspring more comfortable in getting involved in discussions with you.
Remember, there is a very thin line of respect and friendship, between you and your teen, do not cross that ever. Setting high standards, alone, can protect your child against high-risk behavior and exposure.
