Moms are peculiar. They take months of physical pain and emotional stress before giving birth to the child and once the child comes out of her womb, they just accept another ordeal of life long agony: raising and taking good care of the kid. It’s a mutation that every mother goes through. And a part of this process is mom guilt, a very common and most talked about parenting term.
Guilt it is just a suffering that we inflict on ourselves thinking, “I must have done something wrong”. If you are a mother you know very well what they are, how they often overwhelm you or did consume your mental composure. New moms always find it difficult to cope with guilt feeling about their parenting standard and take refuge to remorse. But, emotionally depressed mom is the most undesirable for kids. Depression affects mother’s health and mental soundness and that again deteriorate parenting quality.
So if you, as a new mom, feel like doing something wrong or cannot match other moms and supermoms, as they are projected in media, in your locality, don’t start panicking. Take a deep breath and try to sense the guilt properly. Often we lament out of nothing. If your introspection really reveals any error, take the guilt as an opportunity to rectify the mistake.
However, you cannot rectify every problem on earth. But, that should not perpetuate your guilt. You have to understand that you are neither the first nor the last mom to face these problems. If you are still not convinced take a look at 7 common guilt feelings that bug moms the most.
1. Working mom!
It’s a heavenly guilt that serially becomes spring board of other mental agonies. You are not living in last century and daily commuting on time machine. Mom goes to office. This is normal and here to stay. So, having a kid cannot justify lifelong holiday from your work life.
Yes, for a house mom it is always easy to spend more time with kids, unlike working ladies. If you can afford and love to say goodbye to your profession, your kid would get more time out of your life. But otherwise, don’t start crying. We are living in different world and life is not always very easy. Besides, many of you are very capable in your profession, so no point in denying your country or your capabilities. Just take a break, lean on your desk and start doing what you are best at.
2. Breast or formula?
Gone are those days when breast milk was only source of nutrition for an infant. Now, even willing moms cannot feed breast milks and reasons could be multiple. The result is invention of infant formulas. They are approved by US FFDCA and contain dietary requirement of a baby under 12 years age.
If you were the only mom buying formula, then manufacturing companies would not have existed at all. Global production of infant formula is of $7.9 billion in a year. And developed countries’ share in it is 33%. So relax. Sure, they can’t be perfect substitute to you breast milk but they are not poor substitute too. Many kids are surviving solely on formula and showing no lack of health: psychological or physiological.
3. Fast food!
Yes, this is another typical mommy guilt, prevalent mainly in working moms and not so good cook moms. We all know fast foods are not that good on health as they are on taste buds. But often moms, with lack of cooking skill and time, take help of packaged fast foods. If you fall in this category and scold yourself repeatedly, then pause for a minute. Infrequent indulgence in fast foods is not poisonous.
If you can’t cook tasty food every time try to make them nutritious. And cooking nutritious food need not be a time consuming one. Food value in a food is the most important thing for your kid’s health.
4. Lost temper?
Don’t forget you are a human being first. Everybody has limitations and even the placid most guys can loose temper. So you don’t let the hell loose on your kids if you speak out to them at higher octaves or say something not much mom like. On the contrary, your bad day would teach them how beautiful mom you are in your good days. But, don’t make loosing temper a habit. And if that is the problem then you are taking way beyond pressure. Take a back seat from daily chores and let your nerve loose.
5. Television break?
TV is bad for kids’ eye sight and mental growth. You must have read it in parenting book or heard on a TV talk show. But, you can’t help and allow your kid a TV break, as nobody is around to look after the baby and you have to finish some household chores.
Don’t panic. Parenting books are right, TV talk shows are right and your situation is also perfectly justifiable. So, stop cursing yourself. Take care so that TV breaks are not long enough and programs, they are watching, are suitable to their ages.
6. Cluttered household!
If you feel bad for inability to become a notion of organized mom before your kid, don’t feel yourself alone. Tidiness is a virtue and could be linked to genetic characteristics. It is true that kids learn from their moms first. So, try to teach them virtues of cleanliness and organized life, but never feel guilty.
7. Not enough gift?
Kid stuffs are plenty today, like never before. But, your kid does not have much of them unlike other kids in the block. The reason is you can’t afford them, but it no way nullifies your love. And it is your love and not the games and toys that makes a kid good human being. For their better future, teach them value of money. This is a lesson we often overlook to teach them when we splurge on our kids. If your kid learns to value money today, they will definitely spend a better future than you are living now.
