If you are a step-parent, then you definitely will be aware of the challenges that are present in handling a blended family situation. Quite an amount of effort is required to make step-parenting happen. In order to form a happy blended family and be a step-parent, one needs to be able to balance respect and love along with understanding, compassion and lots of discipline. Learn how to balance a blended family if you are a step-parent looking to form a happy blended family.
Firstly, it is important for both the man and woman to consider the existing family situation of each other. For instance, a blended family may consist of a single woman getting married to a man who has kids of his own. Likewise, the situation may be the reverse with a single man getting married to a woman with kids of her own. Or, a man and a woman may have kids of their own in the union. Accept right from the outset that your spouse is definitely going to be closer tohis or her own children than to yours. It is essential to avoid constantly criticizing your spouse’s children and showing blatant favoritism to your own children. Failing which, you will never be able to create a happy blended family. Blood loyalties are way stronger than marital ties and this is a fact that needs to be accepted. Acknowledge the fact that it will take time for you to become closer to your stepchildren and it is necessary to make an effort towards this end. In order to ensure a happy blended family, you have to accept the children as well. Create a supportive and loving environment so that you will be able to create a happy blended family where mutual respect and affection prevail.
In order to create a happy blended family, you will also need to respect your spouse’s family dynamics. Different families have different rules laid out and varying parenting styles. When such people come together, they may be clashes in how the children should be raised. As such, be willing to listen to your spouse’s way of doing so and be prepared for some negotiation and compromise. It does not help to impose your own personal rules of upbringing on your spouse’s children because they may just decide to rebel. If they are provoked without understanding their ways of doing things, then they may use their parent’s love to create a friction in the family. If this happens, then a happy blended family cannot be built. Perhaps it may be best for each parent to discipline his or her own children until a mutually loving family environment is created.
It is tough for children to suddenly have some adult snatch their parent’s love and time from them. As such, do not force yourself on them initially. As much as it will take time for you to accept your spouse’s children, it will also take them time to do so. Children of divorce or of single parents are usually more possessive over their parents. Give the children sufficient time to accept you as a new member of the family.
Essentially, the most important aspect of creating a blended family would be to be more reflective, compassionate and humane in your actions. Learn from one another and grow as a new parent and learn to treat your own children and step children equally over time.
