There is a certain way of parenting that exists today, which parents get from various online sources, other parents, or from the lifestyle changes in the society. This is kind of messing up the kids and would harm their futures as they are living a check listed childhood tailor-made by their all-knowing parents! We keep them safe and sound from experiencing life, we want them to go to the right schools, they are supposed to acquire the right grades for entry into the right colleges and we stream line their career options to a selected few. Today we expect our children to perform at levels we were never asked to or expected of. That is why we have taken it up as our responsibility to enlighten parents about these steps that can be taken to raise successful but happy children—
1. Celebrate achievements as a family
Celebrate the small events as getting a good test grade or first day in new class as a family. Happy families celebrate often and happy families have happy children. It is absolutely important to acknowledge your child’s small achievements but don’t overdo it making it the biggest deal.
2. Your marriage is important
The way you behave as a couple is very important to the child’s upbringing and overall perception of an adult’s life. You are the first set of adults they see and try to grow up being. Expressing your love, being polite, your opinion on general matters, spending time together everyday- even if it is for 10 minutes- and everything else it takes to work out a constant harmonious relationship must be experienced by your child too.
3. Listen to your child
Give your child undivided attention while he or she is talking to you even if it is about the smallest silliest thing. This builds confidence in them to come and talk to you about anything later on. So put away that mobile phone, turn down that TV or turn away from your house chore when attending to their conversation – this will make you a more attentive listener and your children better at communicating.
4. Emotions and relations
Parents must teach their children to understand their emotions and how to handle them. They should be aware that every emotion they feel is fine but not all their behavior is. This should not be explained by taking example of another child and belittling him or her, but rather tell them that which is possible in reality. Children should be encouraged to form meaningful friendships with other children. Teach them how to resolve their problems when one arises and also to applaud a friend for his achievement instead of having a competitive attitude, teach your child to accept defeat in grace. It is often found that children who can control emotions and make good relationships come out as successful individuals.
5. Set reasonable targets
Parents must set reasonable attainable targets for their children. Hoping for over achievement and training for it could bore your ward and deviate them from the target altogether and cause failure. A parent must know his or her child’s capability, tweaking it just very little would be challenging for the child and he will be motivated to complete the task. On the other hand, not being bothered about your child’s progress is equally harmful too. It sends out the message that you don’t care for your child.
6. Focus on the process rather than the result
Don’t over emphasize on the achievement your child makes, but focus on the way he or she achieved it, like your child’s behavior, effort, skill and attitude put to get the end result. This way you can expect consistent good results from your children and they will grow up less burdened knowing that even if they lose, it wouldn’t make a difference to their parents.
7. Allow your children to make their own choices
Let your children choose what they want even if it is their own punishment for breaking rules. This way the child will be familiar with making decisions for the future and hopefully picking out his or her career without us having to do it for them. So, as your children get older, give them their freedom of choice.
8. Promote good health
Teach your children the value of respecting your body by keeping it healthy and taking care of it. Engage them in regular physical activities or exercises. Make sure it’s fun for them and not a burden. Try to promote eating good food, but don’t be so uptight about it. All this will ensure a total well-being of your child as they grow into responsible individuals.
9. Promote positive thinking
Don’t let your children complaint often about everything. Try to dissuade them by making them understand it is not a good thing. Discourage gossiping. Tell them positive stories. Don’t scold them for everything.