Talking about racism with kids is not so easy because this topic is in itself a very sophisticated issue. The issue can lead to several other problems in kids unless dealt with genuine severity. If the child questions you while you explain them something, keep cool. Don’t just freak out as children repeat what they hear. Here is a story to explain the gravity of the situation.
I was at my friend’s home when I heard her little brother criticizing his nanny. For once I thought that the nanny was rude and that must be the reason for his dislike. So, I asked him that why he was not interested to be with the nanny, and pat came the reply, he said that “She has a brown skin which I don’t like”. I was literally shocked when I heard this from that small boy. His sister was also horrified as he had many friends from different ethnicities but never ever that little boy had made such a comment. She scolded him but all she could say was “That’s not a nice thing to say”. She was taken into aghast and couldn’t speak much on this topic. We were very sure that this topic was not so avoidable and that we had to do something in this perspective. So, the very next day we went to the President of Spelman College Dr. Beverly Tatum.
Here are a few tips that will help you in dealing with the issue and guide you to talk about the same with your small kids:
1. Don’t be afraid to bring it up
There are many parents who find it very difficult to talk about racism with their kids just as the bees and the birds talk. Dr. Tatum says that this awkwardness contributes to a lack of communication that interrupts the conversation part. Dr. Tatum also says that “There are a few concerns about sounding racist and saying the wrong things even if that is not your intension”. He also says that “Sometimes parents believe that if they talk about the issues of race with their children, they will themselves cause them to notice the racism that the child had no idea about”.
2. Look for teaching moments
So, aren’t you sure when to start this sort of conversation! Ok… if your child makes a remark on someone’s skin, that’s easy enough to start with the topic. There are Children’s books too that give a gentle introduction. You can also teach them from the everyday life. For example when you are working in the kitchen and making omelets, you can use white and brown colored eggs. The child will ask you that what makes you to choose both the eggs. You can explain that the inside is same in both the eggs just like people who have different colors but the inside is same.
3. Make the message age-appropriate
For preschoolers, use the examples from the daily life just as the example of egg mentioned above. Young children can understand well the meaning of unfair. Dr. Tatum says that “No racial group is all bad or all victims. He mentions a good example of US white people who were the slave-owners but there was yet another group who worked constantly against slavery. The black were the slaves and many of them ran away from the mistreatment. Giving such examples where people help each other is equally important.
4. Accept that prejudiced comments may happen
If the child questions you while you explain them something, keep cool. Don’t just freak out as children repeat what they hear. Simply ask your child that what made him think so?
5. Most importantly, be a role model
“Demonstrate you child that you have friends from all backgrounds”, says Dr. Tatum. He says that parents who have been leading a multicultural life and have friends from different cultures do not find much difficulties in explaining the things related to race as the children develop these important skills at an early age.
