New moms are usually very high on emotions. And this is the reason why everything around them affects their mind more than ever. With immense happiness of being a mom, there are other emotional upheavals that bother a mom’s mind. And feeling guilty probably tops the list. The babies have an uncanny knack of acclimatization which we adults lack in many ways. Though we feel that the baby is yet to settle in the all new world, what is far more gripping is how far the new mom had adjusted and adapted to the new life. And when everything around her needs a change or a compromise, the feeling of not doing enough for the baby or not doing right with oneself sets in giving rise to guilty trips and results in unhappiness and depression. Here are some common issues new moms feel guilty about. Read on and find suitable solutions.
1. Yet to create the ‘mom – baby’ bond
Pregnancy takes a toll on both mind and body. After a traumatizing delivery, getting back to feet is always difficult. Though a new mom cannot be called a medical patient in true sense, but in any case whether it is normal or a c- section, the body and mind take the brunt of it. On one hand you are thrilled about pulling it off but on the other hand, pain and trauma are unforgettable. In such a situation, most of the new moms find it difficult to feel the much said mom- baby attachment. “I don’t feel that unconditional love for my baby and I am so guilty about this.” Trust me this is very normal and happens with each and every new mom. The resilience of any human being takes time to bring all the unfavorable conditions to favorable. Recuperating from the nine month ordeal takes time, and slowly the bonding with baby takes place. This is perfectly normal even if you feel depressed and detached from the baby as you will be advised to take more rest and the baby will be taken cared by relatives or nanny. Give yourself some time, and eventually you will be able to create that most precious bond of your life.
2. Not breastfeeding properly
In the list of dos, breastfeeding tops the list for any new mom. Needless to say all the new moms try hard to breast feed their new born. But that becomes difficult most of the times. Recovering from the delivery and handling the puny little thing can be more challenging than anything else. Common issues like not able to feed the baby every time and not being able to hold the baby properly to feed, makes the new mom feel miserable. One has to understand that like the baby, mom also needs to adjust herself to this new found world. Breastfeeding is important, but it might need some time before it attains perfection. Using formula milk when needed is not a sin and the baby gets adequate nutrition with that too. Consult a lactation specialist for specific issues, or else sit back and relax, you will be able to breastfeed the baby and give your kiddo the much needed nutrition. Take some time!
3. Going back to work
Getting back to office can create havoc for a new mom. And leaving the toddler can induce lots of stress and guilt. The kids though have a great tendency to adapt themselves to any friendly arrangements. All you need to do is to find one for them. Going back to work would need some systematic arrangements both home and at office. And if you want to get rid of the guilty trips because of not paying enough attention to the baby, make sure you arrange everything well at home, take help from other members of the family and keep your priorities right. It is also important that the mother fulfills her own desires to keep herself confident and fulfilled. There are moms who are better when working than sitting at home and doing babysitting. This may be because of the space every human being needs at one point of time. And trust me there is no harm in doing that.
4. Day care for the little angel
Is it alright to leave my baby in day care? This is a common query by moms when they plan to get back to work. And this is valid to some extent as no mom will want to leave their kids amongst unknown and unreliable people. Well, the solution to this problem is to find the right place for your kid. At the same time one has to realize the fact that day care can be a great option in creating a perfect environment for a good growth pattern for your kid. The child is allowed to meet different people and thus finds himself amongst new things and people every day, this increases the social well being of the kids and adds to the healthy upbringing. So, if you are guilty about putting your kiddo in a day care, you may have to redo your thinking. This might be of great help, just make sure to find the right place with trained people and good hygiene.
5. Should have done more
Being realistic is the first step towards being happy moms. There is no end to what you can do for your baby. But sadly everything is not practically possible. “I should have done more than this” can be a never ending issue if you keep on feeling guilty about what you could not do for the young one. Instead feel proud of what you are giving and can give. Remember you can only become a great mom when you sit back, relax and enjoy every moment with your kiddo. Get rid of the perfectionist in you and emphasize in quality than quantity. See the difference then!
