Parenting is an exercise needing involvement with the kids. But this involvement need not always be a one sided affair, that is, as and what the parents want. Sometimes behavior of your kids may appear strange to you. You may get annoyed or worried over their activities, about the kind of friends they have and the way they want to live their lives. But have you ever wondered the opposite could also be true when seen from the children’s perspective and as to what they expect from you, how they want you to behave and how much freedom they expect for themselves? Psychologists see children as individuals and believe that they learn to interact with the world in their own small ways. They too have their social lives which might seem trivial to a grown up adult at times. We have put together some common facts about kid’s social life. Read on and be aware.
1. Kids love to socialize
The process of socialization for a kid begins with the family and extends to a great extent when they move out from their homes to the schools or when they start interacting with other kids in the locality. It is a learning process and their social life may affect them both positively and negatively. But psychologists agree over the fact that social life for kids is essential for their healthy development. Children were earlier hardly seen as an individual, at least not until psychologist Jean Piaget showed through his experiments that they actually think differently from their grown up counterparts. They may commit wrongs as do the adults in selecting their friends. But it is a matter of omission and commission that is important and most of the kids learn as they grow.
2. Kids find company in children similar to them
Most of the kids choose their company according to their own likes and dislikes. The authors of the book Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of children, say that children silently sort themselves into popular, accepted and rejected categories. Someone who likes to remain silent and away from the crowd would always find friends of their like. While the dominating or ‘alpha kids’ always manage to find a group of loyal supporters who just want to be like him or follow him just in order to avoid isolation from a larger group. One can say that such children learn the value of social acceptance early while it may become a struggle for some. Also, its not that the ‘alpha kids’ would always remain the same. Infact, behavioral changes occur so fast in early ages that almost all kids go through similar experiences at different points of time.
3. Kids quickly follow a common trend
On of the most dominating aspect of the social lives of kids is that they quickly follow a trend and are susceptible to advertising, especially when they find that the trend has been endorsed by the most dominating kid of their group. Everyone likes to have similar clothing, books, bags, and even food in order to avoid looking odd when they meet with the group.
4. It is kids’ small world
Their social life is their world and their friends are the companion they always love to spend some time with. While friends may affect a kid both positively and negatively, psychologists say that friendship selection is not just a random process. Factors like the environment in school and in family also play an important role. But no kid wants to be isolated or remain aloof from their small world. Most of their acts are attempts at continuously reinforcing a virtual contract they sign with other kids for being part of their world. Parents can facilitate this process positively by providing an enabling environment at home for winning their faith and sorting out small problems like the emotional problems kids often face.
5. Social life of kids is not an isolated event
To think that the social life of kids is an isolated event and doesn’t affect those of parent’s, would not be a correct approach while dealing with growing children. Kids always love to have someone strong enough to support him in the moment of fears or when they face any isolation from their group. This strong support cannot come from anyone else but the parents for at least two reasons. First, if parents are approachable and understanding, kids would always confide in them. And second, kids’ healthy, open and honest relationship with parents always help them grow into more responsible persons.
