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10 tips for coping with a second baby

Coping with being pregnant as well as looking after a toddler or older children brings a whole new set of challenges. Pregnancy the second time, will be different. Despite having experience, you will be in for some physical and mental surprises. Physically you will experience a lot of tugging, pulling and expanding sensations, about a month earlier than in your first pregnancy. You also might tire more easily, even before the baby is born, since caring for your older child while pregnant takes a lot of energy. After the birth, the first 6 to 8 weeks can be particularly demanding, because your main job will be trying to get your infant on a feeding and sleeping schedule, while anticipating your older child’s needs and changing emotions. As the second baby arrives, feelings of insecurity and envy may arise in the older child.

Although it might be a tedious task but here are 10 tips for coping with a second baby:

1. Acquaint your older child with his/her sibling even before the latter is born. You may, while conversing with your older child, begin to discuss the new baby. Talk about your growing belly and the little baby in it; the baby’s little hands and feet, tiny fingers, the closed eyes. This prepares her gradually for the new arrival.

2. Talk about what to expect when the baby comes home. Explain that a new baby cries, sleeps, and needs diaper changes frequently. Assure your older child that although the new baby needs lots of attention, there will still be plenty of time and love for him or her.

3. Reinforce your older child’s role in the family, saying that he or she will be the big brother/sister to the new baby, and let your child adjust in this new role.

4. Let your older child help pick out items for the new baby’s room. If your kids will be sharing a bedroom, this is particularly important.

5. Maybe your child could come to one of your prenatal visits or watch an ultrasound. If you’re giving birth in a hospital setting, ask about sibling visitation after the baby is born.

6. Teach the elder child how to be around the baby. Speak with her, show her. By listening to you and by observing you the older one is sure to distinguish the gentle touch from the rough one.

7. Find a special gift that your older child might like to share with the baby, such as a favorite book or toy, or a photo of the sibling for the baby’s room.

8. Make sure she is not a bored neglected toddler. Schools, parks, indoor activities (with family members), play dates and lots of fun time with mom and dad will not leave her much time, energy or even reason for resenting the second baby.

9. Remember that just like you need to prepare mentally for second baby pregnancy, your first child also needs mental preparation.

10. Explain how they will have a wonderful playmate in their sibling and never need any other company.

What is important is that you are doing the best to make them comfortable. Ask for help and always give yourself some me time.

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