Those people who choose beating or hitting to teach a desirable behavior pattern to their kids often cause serious emotional damage to them. It can make them stubborn and take away their ability to be self-reliable. Moreover, such parents convey a message that it is all right to take help of violence to get things done. The result of physical punishments is usually devastating. Kids may develop a poor self-image or may turn hostile to their parents.
Look for alternatives
Kids observe the behavior patterns of their elders and imitate them. However, it is important that you set good examples for them. Do not use violent behavior or foul language when kids are around. Make some family rules and follow them along with your kids. You can also ask their suggestions to choose a punishment for those who break the rules.
Do not loose temper when your kids misbehave or make a mistake. Give them time to think over it, meanwhile you can also cool yourself down and discuss your reasons with them. Get to know your kids better and do not hesitate to praise them in front of others as it motivates them to keep up the good behavior.
Negative influences of using physical punishment
It is always a bad excuse to use the violent behavior patterns of your parents to justify your own. By beating their kids, parents convey the message that it is all right to beat those who are not physically strong. Such kids may end up scaring or beating other kids in school, which can take them in an altogether different direction.
Parents share a special relationship with their kids, which can easily get destroyed by employing violent methods to correct their behavior. Those parents who use physical punishments are more likely to turn into abusers as they feed the belief that this is the only solutions to all problems. There are better ways to make your kids understand.
Manage your anger
Imagine how you would feel if someone who is thrice your size scolds you or use physical strength to control you. You would certainly feel scared or feel utmost hatred for that person. This is what happens when parents hit their kids or use physical violence. Every time you kids push your buttons, recall the negative effects of violence and think of an alternative.
Take your time before you react back so that you can think logically and come up with a better solution. Take physical force out of your options to tame the behavior of your kids. Do not call names or use foul language as it hurts the self-image of your kids. Analyze the problem and use a mild tone to discuss the solution.
Kids look up to their parents and learn most of their behavior patterns from them. Moreover, they are dependent upon their parents for food, shelter and security. They expect their parents to love them the most and forgive them for their mistakes.
When parents get angry with their kids they usually have no one to look for support. Imagine how kids feel when their parents smack them or threat them. It has more harmful effects then you could imagine. Kids can develop an inferiority complex, which can handicap their ability to value themselves. They may turn against their parents for good.
Spanking does more harm
You can never control the behavior of your kids simply by a physical punishment. Smacking your kids may make them feel bad about themselves, which is even worse when they find it hard to understand the reasons behind it.
Research says that most kids end up feeling unwanted and develop feelings of hatred against their parents. If it goes beyond extreme, they may even create such situations to trouble their parents even more. Spanking your kids is not the solution to your problems.
Hitting or beating can never be a solution to any problem especially when kids are involved in it. Develop a relationship of trust so that you do not have to get involved in power struggle with your kids. There is always a way out of any trouble if you think logically without considering the options to hate or beat your kids.