Giving birth to a baby is perhaps the most important day in a couple’s life. It is a day for celebration for both the mom and dad where they welcome a new life into the world, after 9 months of preparation. In the initial days, the dads were not allowed inside the delivery room and all they could do was patiently wait outside for the nurse to deliver the good news. But now, times have changed and the dads are expected to be part of the whole experience. While some dads are absolutely fine dealing with the process, other are not comfortable. To make him feel more at peace with the whole process, here are some tips that can help him cope well in such situations.
1. Figure out what is worrying him
It is only natural for the dad to be apprehensive and worried about what’s in store for him. Since the mom-to-be would already have a vague idea of what is going to happen in the delivery room, she would be much more at ease. So for the dad to be in sync with the situation, consider sitting him down and talking to him about his role during birth. What he would need to do, how he can improve the situation and how he should be prepared are some of the things to be addressed. You could also just ask him if there is anything in particular that is bothering him. This might ease off some of his concerns .
2. Talk about it
Once you figure the problem the dad is facing, then half of the job is done. You just need to help him tackle it. Talk to him about it and get him to open up to you about what makes him so nervous about childbirth. he might be wondering if he’s actually needed there, or concerned about you being in pain or just simply scared of seeing blood. Whatever be the issue, talk it out and figure out a way to help relieve him of his concerns or at least minimize them.
3. Take a childbirth class
These days many health centres offer childbirthing classes where the mom and dad-to-be can attend it together as a couple. It is great way to learn what’s in store for both the parents. They discuss labor and how the dad can help during the process and the best part is that you can ask them any of your doubts without being judged. There would be other dads in the group who might be equally apprehensive and some who might already have experienced it. So it would be a great opportunity to do some male bonding and discuss childbirth in general.
4. Read a book
Although majority of the pregnancy books out there are aimed at women and mothers-to-be, some of them are written specifically for dads. They cover dealing with pregnancy, labor and parenting on the whole. So grab one of those books from the library and read away. It might help you overcome those fears.
5. Go over the birth plan
There would be a birth plan in mind for every woman. Get the mom to go over her plans and goals for labor along with you, so you are not lost when it comes down to it. Have her explain in detail what she wants you to do. Sometimes, it is the fear of the unknown that might trigger fear in the dad, so get that out of the way by ensuring that both the mom and dad are on the same wavelength.
6. Hire a Doula
A Doula is someone who gives non medical help to a couple during childbirth and labor. This could do the dad good especially if he is unsure about things. They will be able to guide them and will stay around if he needs to take a break. Hire a doula and discuss with her how she can best help both the parents.
7. Bring snacks
Some dads could be too traumatised by the whole experience, that they get sick. Maintaining a fresh supply of snacks ready will help keen the energy levels high and maintain blood sugar. Get something you can easily consume and not a complicated lunch box full of food.
8. Take breaks in labor
Most men begin to feel calm once the labor process has started. But, if by any chance you hit a rough patch, then just take a quick break. Get a coffee or a snack at the cafeteria and walk around a bit. This can relax you and break the intensity, making your mind clearer when you walk back in
9. Watch through a camera
Some dads prefer to shoot the entire birthing process through a camera. This may be due to many reasons. he could be scared of blood, or doesn’t want to see the placenta, or he simply wants to tape the process. This could prove advantageous to those dads who are a bit queasy about childbirth and they could watch through a video camera instead. It puts a layer between them and the situation and would be more like watching it on TV.
10. Have an exit strategy
If all else fails, then have an exit strategy ready. If none of the above tips help once the labor kicks in, then exit the room without making the mom feel abandoned. This should be something the couple has discussed before and make sure the mom supports the decision. She should have a doula or someone else to help her to get through with the birthing process if the dad decided to bail out.
