Having blended families are becoming more and more common these days. Divorce is on the rise which is causing families to break apart. No matter which spouse children are set off to live with, they eventually must accept their parent’s new spouse as their own mother or father. They have a hard time making peace with this reality. Both new spouses must allow time and deal with patients with their respective children.
Step-siblings may take a little while to come around the fact that they are now meant to share the same house. There are a few ways by which you can ensure that this process goes as smooth as possible without any hiccups. Note that ‘your children’ here refers collectively to both your children and your spouse’s.
Notify them regarding the change:
This may be setting up the pitch for the real issue to arise. Talk to your child in advance and let them know about your remarriage. Inform them that now they will have to welcome your new spouse and their children into your house or they will have to move out and go live with them. Whatever may be the case, make sure that your child is well aware of and comfortable with what is coming. Talk to them and know what is it that they would or wouldn’t mind changing.
Better your relationship with your spouse:
Children look up to their elders to be their role models. Be a good one to them. Your relationship with your spouse will directly influence that of yours and your spouse’s children. Remind them constantly to live in peace and harmony with each other. Do just that with your spouse. Get along well, and in no time, you will see your children following suit.
Induce friendship and compassion among your kids:
There are certain ways you can adapt to ensure that your children do not fall prey to hatred, jealousy, and rivalry with each other. Some of them are:
- Keep away from the comparison. It will bring nothing but jealousy to the table.
- Allow them to do chores around the house together.
- Leave them in isolation without interfering for a couple of hours every day, or whenever time permits.
- Take interest in your children’s affairs, but don’t get too involved. Let them solve their issues by themselves.
- Do not encourage fighting or bullying, and don’t play referee when such a situation arises.
- Take frequent trips and vacations in the first few years to allow your children enough time and opportunities to get to know each other and get along well.
- Occasionally, have healthy discussions and conversations with your children along with your spouse and listen to what each one has to say.
You know your children better than anyone else. You can always alter the above-mentioned methods as per your children’s nature. You can even introduce certain new things and your own ways of dealing with respective situations. Remember that general rules can always be modified as per your needs.
Take it slow:
Know that both your children have just met. Don’t expect them to become best of friends right way. Allow them time with each other, and with each other’s friends before concluding anything. Let things move at their own pace and don’t rush anything. After all, you wouldn’t want your children getting frustrated or irritated at the thought of their step-siblings.
Calling it off:
Divorce, no matter how tedious or horrific it may seem, is necessary for both partners if they don’t wish to be together anymore. Even the death of a spouse brings about the same mental disturbance. But what most parents don’t realize is that it takes a serious toll on the mental condition of young children who are still in their growing years.
Welcoming a new parent and step-siblings into the house is not as easy as it may seem, especially for a young mind. Give them plenty of time to adjust and find their way around each other. Who knows, they might just end up becoming the best of buddies!