Teenage years are tricky to handle. It is that time when a child outgrows dependence and is entering the phase, when one begins to develop self-reliance. However, children belonging to this age group are still young and in need of proper guidance. These can be tough years for parents too, as children begin to question and don’t always listen to what parents have to say. Some parents resort to fear tactics and controlling approaches, but these will not go down well with the teenagers who are rebellious by nature. Parents should instead focus on striking a bond of friendship and inculcate sensible thinking and understanding in their children. Let’s take a look at some parenting styles that your teenager will not welcome and the ones you need to change.
1. Directive and detached
This is one of the worst parenting style, as not much effort is made to develop a relationship with the children. Here, strict rules are laid out for teens without their say in their lives. It does not even encourage dialogue between parents and children and averts them from expressing themselves. This approach is not good, as children are not encouraged to think for themselves.
2. Instructing
Lecturing children all the time and telling them what they should and should not do, is not a very good idea either. Basically, such parents are engaging in one way communication instead of a two-way discussion which deters the reasoning ability of the children. Teenagers like it when you listen to their thoughts, they would love to hear “what do you think?” instead of ” do this thing”. Two way communication is much better as it teaches them to reason for themselves.
3. Authoritative
Being authoritative all the time is definitely not the best approach, as you are teaching children to comply with instructions blindly, instead of nurturing their decision making ability. Laying out stern directives for kids can increase their stress levels, instill fear in them and make them prone to anxiety attacks every time they are required to execute a task. This can affect their confidence level and even influence their performance in tests, exams and sports negatively.
4. Being too watchful
Asking too many questions and keeping an eye on children is not the best style either. Teens feel like you are trying to restrict their freedom and this can cause them to rebel or feel constrained. Give them limited freedom, let them have some time alone and allow them to go out with peers, but only after educating them about the difference between good and bad.
5. Supervising every detail
You don’t need to see to every task that a teenager takes on, some tasks can be overlooked as well. Monitoring simple things like how they should do their homework, time they are on phone with friends or when they dress up for causal outings, should be avoided. Teenagers can manage simple chores on their own. Show that you trust them to execute jobs accurately. This will also help them develop time management and planning skills.
6. Overprotective
Many parents are so anxious about their kids, entering the teens that they impose several restrictions on them. For instance they cannot go out with friends for parties, clubs, college galas, etc. Teens do not like to hear “it’s for your own good” and have their freedom curtailed every time. Parents need to understand that their kids should go out in the world themselves and deal with the good and bad, otherwise they will grow up to become socially withdrawn.
7. Mollycoddle
Teens are kids who are growing up fast. So, you do not need to pamper and fuss over them every now and then. This comes in way of their independence and intellectual growth. Likewise, cosseting them and giving them too much freedom is also not great, this can lead them astray without you even knowing about it. It can make them susceptible to substance abuse, teenage sexuality, pregnancies etc. Teach them the importance of discipline and making the right choices. The best line of tactic is to hold meaningful discussions and steer them in the right direction.
Wrap up
The best way to form a strong and trustworthy bond with your kids is to make good friends with them and strike a balance between being lenient and authoritative. They should respect your advice and mull on it. Ensure that they take a well thought decision themselves. Finding the right balance between restriction and giving them freedom is the best way out.
