Every virtue takes its own course of time to get instilled and settled in a child’s mind, be it sharing or any other moral value that you want your child to abide and inherit. Sharing among children is depleting with course of time, mainly due to most of them being a single child to their parents. In the absence of any siblings, they do not learn to share their belongings with others, thereby making them selfish and self-centered. Sharing their belongings like toys in the initial stages or books when they are a little older with friends and siblings is important for the overall mental and behavioral growth of a child. Children blindly follow and adapt to their home scenario. It is the whole and sole responsibility of the parents to create an environment of love, care, brotherhood and mutual understanding among siblings, even if they have a wide age gap, so that right from the initial stages they learn to share and play together without being forced to do so.
Ways to teach your tots to share:
1. Look for solutions and not faults
When you see kids fighting for a particular toy without coming to any common compromise, hold both responsible for the conflict and instigate them to work it out between themselves, on their own. If need be, show them the way of doing so by providing them with options, but leave the final decision on them as to which one to choose from. Stay out of their issues and try to monitor it only superficially without getting involved in it, personally. Do not ever try to find out faults in them. Instead provide them with tools to come out of it with flying colors.
2. Be realistic and apologize on behalf of your toddler
The kids traits are the proof enough to confirm their bend towards selfishness or over generosity. Once you realize and recognize it, accept it as a natural and normal phenomenon of his growth and developmental phase. Be calm and respond patiently, this will ease your squabbles and make thinks better for you and your child. Also, if you find your toddler snatching toys from others, feel free to apologize on his behalf. This act of yours would not only show a sense of respect towards the other child, but would also restrict you from harboring unrealistic expectations of your child.
3. Observe without intervention
When you notice your children fighting over a materialistic object, control yourself and refrain from plunging into the matter unless and until things become physical between them. Your intervention would only worsen the situation, leading to a win-lose competitive outcome and end up with one of them getting deeply hurt. Moreover, your child will never grow up to fight his own battle and would always rely on you to solve his problems and quarrels with others.
4. Know yourself
Every child is not revolting by nature. There are some who silently accept things even if a toy is forcefully snapped from them by some other child. In such cases, most of the time parents start reacting to their own feelings, completely ignoring their child’s reaction to it. Do not ever step in on your child’s behalf by projecting your own emotions to a given situation. Remember, after all its your child’s problem and not yours.
5. Use distraction
Not all quarrels and fights between kids have to necessarily end up in teaching them moral science lessons on sharing. At times, just try to deviate your child’s attention to some other thing so as to change his mood. Involving and indulging him in something else can make him forget the previous episode of conflict completely.
6. Understand sibling dynamics
An older child might be seen generously sharing his personal belongings with his friends, but might refrain from doing the same with his younger brother. This occurs mainly because he tries to resolve his revenge by a tit-for-tat formula, remembering incidents when his younger brother had not shared his toys with him. However, as parents you should try to understand this sibling dynamics and teach them to recollect the positive angle by remembering things which they did for each other rather than holding back and cribbing on what they did not share, thereby giving rise to bitterness and obsession about their things. Also, involve them in group activities which would automatically instigate them to share with each other.
7. Work on relationships
Sometimes the problem is not as simple and small as it appears to be, it might be a counter reaction of a former emotional outbreak which has already made enough room in your child’s mind. Try to reach to the core of the fight which might involve some deeper issues, causing your child to behave and react in this non-sharing and ruthless manner. Resolve it to the best of your child’s interest.
