It seems to parents that teenage is the toughest phase of their child to handle. The situation is tough to adjust when their teen kids hardly communicate to them, especially about their lives. Teens tend to turn rebellious and pull away from family relations. Parents in such situations feel helpless and look for opportunities to peek into their lives. However, surprisingly enough, the best way to maintain healthy relationships is to provide freedom to kids, even if it means knowing less about their lives. In reality, the less knowledge turns out to be beneficial, as it provides the kids with an opportunity to learn and become better individuals on their own.
Here are a few ideas for parents to successfully use this mantra in creating a bond with their kids.
1. Give space
Though, it might seem difficult for parents to suddenly disengage themselves from their teen kids, it is the need of the hour. Teenagers crave for an independent existence and develop a separate life with their peers. They may not want to share all the details about their friends or daily happenings with their parents. It then becomes the responsibility of the parents to understand the feelings of their kids and provide them with the required space. This will fulfill their wish to feel like a grown-up and getting close with you. Nevertheless, parents can always ask their kids about their friends in a casual conversation. This will help them to gather information about the group in which their kids mingle.
2. Invisibly present
If you are a parent of a teen kid, then you have to ‘act’ smart. Teenagers do not like controlling parents, so you have to keep in mind not to poke your kid to make revelations about anything. However, monitor your kid’s actions and behavior to get the signal that your kid needs help. If you feel anything is wrong, it is better not to ask about it directly, rather you can enquire about general things such as the last night party or a school project. Chances are that your kid will open up and speak to you, if there is any problem. Hence, you are always present to monitor your kid but in a discreet and intelligent manner.
3. Good listener
Whenever, your kid shares with you any information, try to give attention to it. It might be a small thing about a friend or an incident, but being a good listener will improve the relationship with your child. It is advisable, not to pass any judgment on the incident that your kid shares with you. Parents should make an effort to ask for the opinion of their kids and see what they think about it. This will help your kid to share things with you without any inhibitions thereby building a friendly relationship.
4. Time for trial and error test
Parents are always concerned about the safety of their teen kids especially because of the less knowledge they have about them. However, as a parent, you need to see this phase in a different light. All these years, you have nurtured your small kid to understand what might be socially acceptable. Now is the time for your kid to practically test the waters. Teen kids will be lured by a lot of bad influences, but they will eventually disassociate themselves from the things that are considered bad. Parents need to allow their kids to experience life in their own way, so that they may finally choose the best things for themselves.
5. No lectures please
Lecturing does not work with teenagers as it instantly puts them off and they disconnect with their parents. As a parent, you should instead try to put the thinking cap on your kid’s head. Allow your kid to make decisions on matters and choose the right thing to do. This way, your teen kid will feel the responsibility and avoid making wrong decisions.
6. Just chill
It cannot be said that teen kids are always into trouble just because they are speaking less. For teenagers, this phase involves a lot of battles, physically, mentally and socially. There is a pressure on them always to prove themselves to their close ones. Parents should empathize with this situation and stop worrying unnecessarily. Also, it is a fact that teenagers are not very articulate in communicating their thoughts.
7. Less is more
Though teens seem to desire independence, they love to have a connection with their parents too. They need their parent’s support and unconditional love with all the freedom that they demand. But to develop a healthy connection, it is important for parents to stop being inquisitive and demanding. This helps teens to approach their parents whenever they need them for guidance or to validate their experiences.
However hard to accept, but the fact remains that parents have a limit to know about the life of their teen kids. They have to provide their kids with the freedom to help them develop into a strong personality. After all, you need to believe that your kids have grown up.
