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Managing diverse ways of handling conflict with your children

When different styles of parenting clash, it becomes hard for the kids to make up their minds. When you tell your kids to go play outside and your spouse wants to keep them inside the house, you probably need to find a middle path. In similar situations, parents not only get into an argument but also start taking out their frustration on their kids. Let us have a look at reasons why parenting styles clash:

When one of you is more concerned about timing


When one partner turns out to be more particular about time and the other one has a relaxed attitude, you find it hard it make a balance. When such is the case, you are more likely to have clash on regular basis. It gets even more difficult to find a solution when kids fail to relate with one of you and at times stare at you with confusion.

When one of you is more concerned about cleanliness


You may not be like your partner who is always running all around the house to keep it neat and tidy. Each one of us has a different tolerance to the dirt and mess that usually becomes a part of almost each house. You take things for granted but your partner fails to do that.

When Level of concern collides


When one of the partners gives more preference to health of the kids and the other one wants them to stay in touch with nature. It becomes hard to decide what to do.

When level of involvement collides


Who is going to take a day off to take care of a sick child? Who takes the responsibility to change the diapers of kids late at night? Such issues always take a lot of time and energy on your part.

Tips to overcome these above mentioned problems:

It is important that both partners learn to compromise or try to find a middle path that steers clear of confrontation and conflict.

Resolve small issues when kids are around


It is quite natural to have a disagreement over trivial issues and a habit of solving these issues in front of your kids can teach them a lot. It helps them learn the attitude to cooperate with other people. They develop problem-solving skills.

Disagree on small matters but agree on bigger issues

You can’t argue the fact that parents may disagree on small matters but they have to have a similar opinion in bigger issues like safety and health of their kids.

Learn to show agreement when kids are there


It is quite natural to have a disagreement but you must not bring up the issue in front if kids. Let your partner know about your disagreement in private and give your reasons for it. You must not try to dominate your partner as kids may take the liberty to do the same or may use this as a defense mechanism. They must have an expression that you both are on the same team.

Learn to handle your kids diplomatically

At times, your kids may raise a question regarding your different styles of parenting and that may prove to be a crucial time for you. Try to be positive about it and tell them it is only helpful for them as you always get a variety of suggestions and can chose what’s best for them.



Learn to compromise with your partner. When you feel that your partner has a better suggestion then you must not try to impose yourself on him/her. On the contrary, when you know you have a better advice make your partner understand but do not make it a compulsion.

Instead of looking at the diverse ways of parenting as a problem, you can make an effective use of all different ideas to raise your kids. Do not let your kids suffer due to your differences of opinion.


Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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