Most parents dread the day when their innocent little boy/girl turns into a stranger prone to mood swings and tantrums. Parenting a teen can be a challenging task and it does require creative problem solving as well a ton of patience. You could choose to ‘go about as usual’ but this will simply distance you from your teen and exacerbate the situation. But as a caring parent, we obviously do not want that situation visiting us. In parenting, it is good to remember on top of it all that the more you push, the more they pull. Read on to find out about 5 common attitudes adopted by parents which are time tested and proved to simply bounce of their teen without a positive effect.
1. Mentality of expecting your teen to be ‘bad’
Most parents think about parenting a teen as an ordeal. Because of the transition stage they personify, they believe that teens are bound to go into wrong paths. Sometimes kids are raised with that mentality and all sorts of restrictions are imposed on them. Research proves that this is the wrong mentality. Parents who were prone to think that their kids ‘would’ do inappropriate things and ended up grounding their teens were actually raising individuals who were even more prone to those ‘inappropriate’ activities when they were older.
So, stop thinking that every single teen is going to be a drug addict or someone hanging with the wrong crowd. Raise them with love and do not treat them harshly. Make them aware of the various changes they’d undergo beforehand. Spend time with their interests and talents. It doesn’t matter even if you do not understand them fully; doing so will draw your teen to you.
2. Bookshelf full stacked with parenting books
Reading too many “raising your teen” books can actually be a liability which parents would realize only later. Of course you could always look up something to deal with their confusing behavior in general but the situation will turn against you if you decide to trust the book completely instead of your instinct. Each teen is unique and has varying needs. Parents need to understand this and use their instincts to guide them out of any risky behavior or problem they face.
3. Not able to ignore small stuff
Respect the fact that your teen is growing in age and is beginning to explore reality. Teens and parents are mostly marked by conflicts because parents enforce their opinions on their teens. Teenage is marked by a change in tastes and preferences. So if you do not like your son’s new shoes or your daughter’s new haircut, just sweat it off. Do not enforce each and every opinion of your on them. Let them take chances and learn from their mistakes. Give them the gift of letting them explore reality on their own while watching and guiding them from a safe distance. Remember that individuals are supposed to grow from dependent to independent and your teen is beginning to do that now.
4. Turning head away from the big stuff
Teenage is the time when parental care is an absolute necessity (though the methods should be regulated). Every major problem or change your teen faces should be addressed right away. If he/she is known to start smoking or abusing drugs, do what you have to do. Never let it grow into a bigger threat. Watch for signs of risky behavior like a change in academic performance, friends or return timings. Even missing medicines from the cabinet or match sticks in your teens room matter.
5. Dictatorship reign over teens
Some parents break down each time their teen puts a toe out of line and converts the house into a war zone by enforcing punishment and punishment. Such teens will either turn out to be rebellious or very introverted. They will also lack in leadership and problem solving skills. Whereas if you give a free reign, it is very easy for your kid to go astray in these times. The best thing to do is to combine both. Give your teen his/her freedom. Do not expect him/her to turn out in a bad way. Rule with an iron hand covered with kid gloves if it can be put that way. Help them cultivate the skills that they would require to rule themselves later in life.
