The bonding between a parent and a child is one of the most loving bonds in the human relationships. It is all about giving unconditional love to the child and develop a strong and emotional attachment between parent and child. The quality and degree of parent-child bonding impacts many facets of life particularly during childhood and adolescence. Psychologists have proved that strong bonding results in the development of a sense of security and self-esteem in the child. It provides a foundation from where he can confidently explore the world.
Why is bonding important?
Bonding is essential in any relation to thrive. However, it is critically essential for a baby. It has been established in several studies that poor attachment has negative correlations in the overall psychosocial and emotional development. Bonding has significant impact on the cognitive development and social competence of a child. A troubled parent-child relation can have adverse affects on the child’s development that may lead to some psychiatric disorders as well.
How long does it take to develop bonding?
Bonding is not automatic that can be turned on and off. It is a process that may take time to develop. A healthy infant can immediately bond but mother or father perhaps may not be quite ready to accept the change. It is not abnormal among women for not having emotions right away after the birth of their baby. Sometimes it can take days or weeks for this relationship to begin.
What are the ways to create bond with the baby?
It might be difficult for a new parent to understand the signs and ways baby communicate. Every child is unique but following are some general behavior that child exhibits for interaction:
1. Touch – Touch is not only a skin-to-skin contact for a baby. It is his first sign of communication when he is not even able to see clearly. Cradling and frequent gentle strokes can develop an attachment. Baby can differentiate the touch and therefore it is a great way for both mother and father to enhance bonding.
2. Visual perception – As soon as baby starts recognizing facial expressions eye-to-eye contact becomes an efficient communication tool. It has been studied that babies tend to gaze faces more than inanimate objects. They even try to follow the movement of objects.
3. Vocalization – Babies love to make and hear voices. They try to convey their feelings in their own language and at times they just enjoy your conversation about their surroundings and activities. With time you become more aware of her actions and can differentiate her cries for hunger or discomfort.
What are the factors that influence parent-child bonding?
Unhealthy pregnancy or a problem delivery is one of the most common reasons that can delay the bonding between a baby and her mother. In the case of premature birth baby is generally admitted in NICU for medical supervision. It can also affect bonding as the baby is kept away from her parents. Child with some chronic illness or developmental disability may result in poor bonding between parents and child.
Problematic marital relationship is also a reason for poor attachment with either of the parents. Child with behavior disorder or cognitive disability generally gets lesser attention than a normal child. It should not happen, as child with disabilities need more attention and care.
Hormones play an important role in bonding. A painful delivery and raging hormones can prolong bonding. Some mothers undergo postpartum depression after childbirth resulting less affection towards baby. If this situation continues for a longer time then it is recommended to consult some psychiatrist.
Bonding with father.
Modern day fathers spend more time with their child. They show more care and crave for more affection and closer contact. Baby feels more secure when she is with her mother similarly she is more stimulated and excited with her father. Fathers can share some special activities to enhance bonding such as: reading or singing to baby, changing diapers, sharing bath with baby and using front baby carrier while shopping or other activities.
Can bonding be improved with time?
Yes, we can improve the bonding level by spending more time with the baby and caressing her. Try to talk with your baby maintaining an eye-to-eye contact. Touch her gently and place her on your chest and stomach. Speak gently and show respect to his needs. Don’t treat him like an adult and play with him.
Establishing attachment between a child and adoptive parents is a bit more difficult. However, babies give you enough opportunity to develop bonding just like they give to biological parents. Certainly the bonding time varies depending on the parent and birth conditions of the baby but the strong loving relation can develop in due course.
