Being a single parent may not be an easy task, especially for a father. If you, unfortunately, have also acquired this new status, you might be feeling uncertain and nervous with the thought of coping with your child’s likes and dislikes. However, do not be disheartened. This is the time to relax and meditate on resolving certain issues and not to give up. First and foremost, think about your child and the emotional stress he/she might be undergoing. Being a newly divorced dad, just as you might be having butterflies in your stomach, your child might be in no less a fix. All things put aside, preparing your child for the next session in school and settling him/her down is one of the most difficult challenges for a single dad. Let’s take into account how this transition time can be dealt with in the most simple manner.
There are three easy steps or tips for a single dad that goes inevitable if he really wants his child’s attention, love and respect:
1. Be present
Children always bond with the parents stronger, if their parents take a keen interest in their school activities. This helps them not only to cherish your presence but also gain self confidence. Hence, be present and available for your child at his back and call. This should be the case not only for his early morning school needs like arranging his school bag, getting him ready for school, making his lunch box and so on, but also making yourself present in every school functions and activities. Be well informed of all the important events happening in your child’s school and extend your co-operation as a parent, whenever required, to make your child feel secured and build his trust on you.
Remember, it’s an all new scenario for your child as well, as he is not use to his dad participating in his school meetings and functions. So, even though initially he misses his mother, let him take his time to adjust to the new pattern by fully co-operating with him and bearing his tantrums. Your patience would definitely yield good results.
2. Be accountable as father and not as friend
The biggest mistake generally made by newly-divorced fathers is that they believe things would work best if they garb themselves in the role of a friend rather than a father. This is wrong. Playing a friend makes the dad forget all rules which children need, and become lenient. This makes children tend to get distracted from the rules which they had been following in the jurisdiction of their mother. The result is that they end up getting shackled at school.
Hence, do not fall in the trap. Play yourself what you are; a father. As a father-figure, set your own rules and agendas for your child to follow and make sure he is accountable for his actions, deeds, and performances at school. Remember, rules of discipline blended with your love and affection is essential for your child’s proper growth and making him successful.
3. Manage your time
Time management plays a vital role in bringing your child close to you during this transition period and in most cases this factor takes a back seat making the start of your day absolutely haphazard and messy. Your responsibility as a single dad starts by giving a quick start to your day, making it full of life and energy. This can happen if you take out a little time in the previous night to make your to-do-list, starting from jotting down the grocery items to planning your meal as well as managing your child’s school activities. By doing so, you can relieve your child from feeling deprived of his basic school necessities, proving to him that you a perfect substitute for his mother, or even better than her, who had been managing all of it on her own for all this while.
Doing everything single handed may not be easy but every cloud has a silver lining. See this as a great opportunity to bond with your kid. Even if you fail in some of your duties initially, your interest and keen effort would not go waste, if you are determined in following the above suggested tips.
