Being in love is one of the best feelings you experience. It makes your life sweeter and more exciting. You may be like some people who love to be in love, and become relationship or love addicts. They feel their existence is meaningless if they’re not in a relationship. Some people, on the other hand, become addicted to the person in their life, whether or not that person is good to them, or good for them. If you’re addicted to someone, and you know it and want to get over relationship addiction, here are some ways to help you do that:
How to get over relationship addiction
Relationship addiction is not really a medically diagnosed condition, but when you continue a behavior/activity even though it has bad consequences, it can be termed addiction. Firstly, you have to know the signs of relationship addiction. If you recognize these signs, then you should read on to find out how to break the cycle and form better relationships.
Signs of relationship addiction
1. You panic when you think of living life alone
In order to get over relationship addiction, you must know if you are addicted to relationship/s, or addicted to love or addicted to a person. One of the signs to detect if you are a relationship addict is to look within yourself, and see whether you’d be happy to live life alone. Do you feel worthwhile only when you’re in a relationship?
2. You think you’d be happy only if you’re loved in a ‘special way’
You feel that you can be happy only if someone loved you in a ‘special way’. He or she would shower all their attention on you and ‘take care’ of you.
3. You think love is a fairy-tale
You are a die-hard dreamer and your idea of love and relationships has a strong resemblance to that as depicted in the movies or in fairy-tales. You search for the perfect person, and if you get it in your head that the person you’re with is ‘perfect’ for you, you have trouble leaving him/her. But you have to forget Prince Charming to get over relationship addiction!
A love addiction pattern is to stick to the wrong person or relationship even though you know they’re bad for you. Another pattern is to ‘talk’ oneself into love, even though you are not very fond of the person, just because you need to be ‘loved’.
4. You keep forming the same type of relationships/return to the same partner
One of the signs of relationship addiction is to return to the same partner who wasn’t right for you. You do this either because you’re addicted to this person, like one is addicted to a bad habit, or because you can’t stand to be alone. You really have to break the cycle of relationships which are not right for you.
What exactly is love addiction?
Love addiction can be defined as a chronic and compulsive craving in the pursuit of romantic love, so that through this love, a person gets his/her sense of worth and security. There are people who are invariably disappointed when their infatuation fades and they come back to reality with a thud.
If you have relationship/love addiction, you probably get stuck in your relationships when they don’t work out. You may even jump from one relationship to the other in order to experience your –fairy-tale concept of love. You may even have emotional affairs, harbor thoughts of leaving, and even cheating on your partner. But still, you hang on to the relationship!
How to get over your relationship addiction
Once you have recognized your problem, you have to take the necessary steps which will help you get over relationship addiction.
1. Notice your relationship pattern
Take inventory of your relationships and note your dysfunctional pattern. Look for common themes, such as the same type of experiences in childhood which you tend to seek out as an adult. If you experienced abusive behavior, you may find abusive people attractive. It’s time to break these patterns, spot them and stay away, to get over relationship addiction.
2. Don’t go to the other extreme
Once you see that you have unconsciously made the same choices which made you unhappy in your relationships, and you’re still stuck in a similar one, don’t go to the other extreme. There is no guarantee that the person at the other end of the spectrum is right for you. This is also extreme behavior, which made you a relationship addict, and this love addiction pattern has to change.
3. Take a break…
… from entering into a new relationship. Give yourself time to think about yourself and what is really important in relationships – the unsuitable person you’re obsessed with or a mature, stable, fulfilling relationship which does not have the ‘highs’ of love you crave, but you end up happier.
4. Love yourself
Loving yourself is easy to say and tough to do, especially if you have not received affection in your childhood. You feel unloved and this feeling may create emptiness, an emotional void which you may be trying to fill since then. You may not be able to get over relationship addiction because you try to find love from someone who is incapable of giving it to you. You may try your best to seek the approval of this person, change yourself and so on, trying to become another person, so that you would receive love.
Learn to love yourself, and put yourself ahead of everything and everyone, especially when you’re starting the process of self-love. You have to forego all relationships, look at the good points in you, realize that you are enough for yourself.
Make a promise to yourself that you will never get into a relationship in order feel good.
5. Bad company is no company
One of the main reasons why you may be suffering from relationship addiction is because you hate to be alone. But remember, a bad relationship only gives a lot of headache and heartache, and the company you get is absolutely not worth it. It’s better to be alone. Realizing this will help you get over relationship addiction.
Love yourself, and change your toxic patterns to start having meaningful relationships. Try to avoid jealousy, envy, and learn to trust. Be kind to yourself, and stay with positive people who love and respect you, and in time you will form better relationships.