It is normal if your kids engage in arguments over TV remote control or their favorite toys but when this sibling rivalry take the form a warfare then you must interfere. Kids often call each other names, make faces and pull each other’s hair when no one is looking at them. It is a part of a routine and healthy too until they start holding a grudge against each other. Here are a few tips to get involved and help your kids work on problem areas:
Establish rules
You must make some family rules and tell your kids to fellow them regardless of anything else. Make rules that no one would call names or get involved in physical abuse. If needed, be very specific and point out things that may create problems. It may also include not touching each other stuff or cleaning rooms together. Be there when kids clean their rooms and divide the task so that each one feels equally responsible and avoid clashes.
Appreciate their efforts
When you notice your kids resolving their conflicts without getting involved in arguments, you must appreciate their efforts. It motivates them to behave in the same manner in future. Do not forget to praise them in front of all family members when they live up to your expectations.
Set good examples
You can help your kids learn good behavior patterns. When kids see their parents yelling at each other or slamming doors behind the other one, they tend to behave in the same manner. Set good examples for your kids and resolve your issues in a clam and quite manner. Think logically before uttering up a word especially when you are in one of your dark moods. Do not discuss things that instigate negativity. Remember kids look up to their parents and imitate them. Discuss your reasons and make decisions in a clam and quite manner so that kids learn to do the same.
Do not be biased
It is quite natural for parents to have a soft corner for their younger kids but at times, it may create problems. Do not favor one kid in front of other ones especially when they are engaged in an argument. It may hamper the self-confidence of the other kids or may turn them against you. Kids are sensitive and fail to understand your motive. Never use punishment to change the behavior of your kids as it may take your kids in an altogether different direction. Praise them if they handle a situation wisely.
Be patient
Parents must not get involved until things go beyond control. Let your kids resolve their conflicts themselves. It turns them into problem solvers and helps them resolving their issues with their friends as well. Each time you interfere into an argument you teach them to depend upon you. Do not pay attention to their bad behavior as they may use that behavior to grab you attention. Above all, when they resolve their issue, they learn to cooperate even in your absence.
Understand the difference
School going kids know the value of rules and regulation. They support fairness and you can make them understand if the younger kids are being over protective for their toys. At the same time, you cannot ignore the needs and requirements of the elder kids. You need to spend more time with them. You should never ask your elder kids to look after the younger ones or play with them as it may get in the way of their own plans to spend their weekend.
Sibling rivalry can never be a big problem if parents keep an eye on their kids and make their kids follow some family rules. Ask for the support of your elder kids to resolve issues peacefully and teach the younger ones to respect the decisions of their elder siblings.
