In Christian parenting, child needs to be raised in the ways directed by God. Christian parenting style derives its goals and techniques from Biblical teachings. God through Bible teaches the art of family living based on faith and unconditional love. But like everything else even Christian parenting is not devoid of flip sides. Keeping such considerations in mind, let us now discuss the essence and pitfalls of Christian parenting
Christian parenting: The essence
1. Teaching the children to be good and faithful Christians
Being a good Christian means following the guidelines set by God. Once the spirit of Christianity has been inculcated in your children, you can be rest assured about watching them grow up as good and responsible human beings.
2. Instilling Biblical principles
While certain secular theories that dwell on the subject of human nature regard children as blank slates, this is not always the case. Children, in fact, come with the original sin pre-wired into their system. An hour with a toddler will help you understand the real meaning of the statement. Hence, one of the biggest pros of Christian parenting is that it teaches and trains children on the god’s standards. The teaching here includes Ten Commandments and the New Testament principles dealing with fulfillment of the law as taught by Jesus. These are essential truths, vital to biblical parenting. However, a majority of the parents often get stuck, concentrating on a single goal, when in reality there are probably three more that appear equally important.
3. Development of Godly character
Another major benefit of Christian parenting is its focus on developing a godly character. To explain things better, let us now use the metaphor of gardening. If shaping and pruning of a plant is considered the very first goal set by Christian parenting, then the development of godly character becomes synonymic to fertilizing and watering the plant. In order to ensure the proper development of godly character, discipline and training are two essential pre-requisites. If the reason behind misbehavior is sought by honesty and open discussions or explorations with the children, it helps to develop stronger roots. Therefore, the idea is to spend as much time discussing their hearts as we often do addressing their behaviors.
4. Obeying
People are advised to follow this goal with a divine “amen”. Parenting is a responsibility that stretches and challenges us. The most important thing that God wants from followers of biblical parenting is to have a heart filled with obedience to his words and the divine being himself. This invariably requires studying prayers and godly fellowship.
5. Directing obedience and love of the kids towards the Heavenly Father
This is the ultimate goal of Christian parenting. God loves children more than their biological parents, because they belong solely and fully to him. Parents are defined, in the Christian parenting laws, as caretakers or stewards taking care of children during their stay on earth. The position of biological parents is, therefore, synonymic to that of a foster mother who showers her adopted child with blessings and happiness. Children who can trust, obey, listen to and depend upon their parents, will find the process of transferring those traits to the Father in heaven easily.
Christian parenting: The criticism
1. Considering the salvation of the child as your ultimate goal
While the joy of praying the sinner’s prayer with the child in tow and hearing the latter confess sins and consider Jesus as their savior is undoubtedly a divine feeling, we must not overlook the cautions involved. It has to be remembered that the prayer is not infused with special powers. It does nothing to save your child, for that responsibility lies solely with Jesus. A focus on getting the child to utter his or prayers may take us away from the real goals. Prayer can never be the ultimate goal. The prime objective is to have a transformed heart and life.
2. Getting entangled in the relationship between your child and the Lord
When kids are young, infusing them with Christian disciplines like prayer and daily Bible readings become important tasks. At a comparatively young age, these practices are mostly driven by parental encouragement or instructions. However, as time passes and children start growing, it is important to release them for the development of a more personal relationship with God, a bond that does not depend on the probing or prodding of parents to nurture and grow. As parents, it is our responsibility to help them realize that god is as much theirs as ours. However, this does not necessarily imply that your job as the spiritual tutor ends henceforth. On the contrary, you need to maintain honest and open dialogues with children about the relationship they share with God. Speak to them and detect their respective areas of hardship or struggle. Encourage the young souls to keep a prayer journal in handy, put on Christian music, study the different names and characteristics of the Lord and read Bible as and when they find the time to do so. Try and help them view God as a loving and personal heavenly Father.
3. Focusing more on the methods and less on the maker
It needs to be borne in mind that legalism is one of the most easy pitfalls. By checking certain activities and behaviors off the list, we assume to have impressed God. However, one should never forget that more than a person’s outward behavior, it is his character that God cares for most. If you are, for instance, performing all the activities or methods of Biblical parenting with a faithless and loveless heart, it boils down to nothing. The outward show of faith will neither help you nor the kids. If you want the children to share a close relationship with God, you must first take a closer look at yourself and ask “do I?”. God is the supreme protector. We should do our bit to point them to the Lord at every possible opportunity.
4. Creating too many restrictions on your children
With too may restrictions, people tend to feel suffocated. Those who want their children to share a special bond with god, should make the child love the Lord and not feel the latter forced on him.
