For the uninitiated, mindfulness is a concept that the self-help movement seeded. The idea is all about staying present in the present moment, without worrying or thinking about the next. Mindfulness allows you to stay grounded in life. While mindful eating and mindful living are two of the most common and well-known approaches to life, there’s a third one you probably don’t know about – mindful dating. While we eat and live by focusing on just the present moment, there is now an eager surge in the idea of falling in love mindfully. Here are some ways to work your way around the concept of mindful dating, and how you can be a happier person because of the same.
What does mindful dating really mean?
Before we dive deep into the formula of mindful dating, let us first understand what this concept really means. Mindful dating is all about having a conscious, slow, and meaningful dating experience.
This involves paying constant and deliberate attention to every aspect of your dating life – be it choosing the right dating site, selecting the right person for the date, opting for a good venue for the same, and how to take it further or leave it aside (based on your intuition and your date’s response system).
The idea behind mindful dating is to choose the right person for yourself by staying focused and grounded at the same time. Mindful dating is also about not wasting your time and energy by chasing the wrong people in your life.
With this in mind, let us move on to read some ways to turn your dating experience, fuelled by mindfulness, just right.
Determine your dating goal
Because mindfulness demands conscious thoughts and actions, mindful dating becomes goal-oriented. You cannot have a meaningful relationship unless you determine its structure. For that, you need to set your dating goals.
Ask yourself, which kind of person are you looking for in the dating field? Or, are you ready and willing to enter a long-term relationship? Are you prepared to accept a long-distance relationship?
Based on the responses to your questions, you need to select the right dating sites or the right date partners. Do not indulge in a casual dating app if you are looking for a commitment in the long-run.
Likewise, do not seal the deal with a date who is looking for a possible marriage if you are not sure about your priorities yet.
Curate, curate, curate
Now that you what characteristics you look for in your date, you can easily curate your prospects. Mindful dating is all about knowing what you want and making conscious decisions or choices to achieve the results.
To get the best mindfulness dating experience for yourself, opt for dates whose goals align with yours. After all, you do not want to waste your time and energy over someone who is not compatible with you.
While dating apps work amazingly to match you with people who have similar goals, interests and hobbies, you can also choose to go on a date with someone with mutual friends.
If nothing works, you can always frequent places that reflect your interests. You are more likely to meet a literary enthusiast in a library. And if you are a coffee lover, hit the local cafes.
Bring out the good vibes
After some of the best ways to find the right match for yourself, you are finally on a date. Since mindful dating requires you to be mindful and conscious – completely immersed in the present moment – you don’t want to ruin your date night with negative vibes.
To get your mindfulness dating experience just right, try to be as positive, warm and welcoming as possible. Do not nitpick the negative traits of the individual you are out on the date with. Rather, try to find the best traits of the person.
Positive vibes will only enhance your dating experience, and they will also enable you to finally find something that works best for you.
Most importantly, be ready for all possible outcomes. Don’t overthink or overdo. Just go with the flow and enjoy.
Listen well
Being present in the moment requires some serious skills. One of them is listening well. There are double advantages of listening well to your partner’s words on a date.
First, by lending your date your patient ear, you are making him/her feel significant and appreciated in your presence. This is simply going to open doors for you to enter your date’s good books.
Second, by listening well, you can pay attention to what your date is trying to tell you. More importantly, you can also read between the lines and interpret even the unspoken words.
Active listening will allow you to understand whether you and your date are compatible with each other. So, when it comes to mindful dating, keep your ears open.
Communication is the key
When it comes to mindfulness dating, you want to communicate with your date. But it is not just any random conversation. This kind of dating demands an insightful talk with your date.
When you date mindfully, you are technically dating for that one long-lasting, peaceful and fully-functioning relationship with someone you are compatible with. To achieve that, communication – effective communication- is the key.
To do that, ask meaningful, analytical and constructive questions to your date. Seek honesty from the get-go. Be honest yourself about various topics that concern your life. Keep an open mind and try not to judge as much as possible.
Having an open, interactive and insightful conversation with your date will help you decide if you want to continue seeing him/her the next time. This will save your time and energy by allowing you to focus both on the right individual and the right dating experience.
Define your boundaries
When it comes to mindful dating, define your boundaries. Learn to decipher – by using the tips given above – whether the date is right for you. Know when to stay and when to walk off. Do not allow yourself to be misguided and mistreated.
Be polite when you know that there is little to no compatibility. Accept rejection with an open heart and mind. Understand that this isn’t your last chance. You can always find the right person for yourself – no matter the circumstances.
Know what to want, know whom to be with to achieve your love goals, have an open mind and effective conversation, be a good listener and yet, know when to stop chasing the wrong person by defining your boundaries.
Mindful dating is simple – you just need to know the trick.
