A person’s world goes upside down after a breakup. He finds it extremely difficult to move on in his life, as innumerable memories of his beloved bombard him. It is such a painful stage for many people that they find themselves in utter confusion and mayhem. The confusion regarding the decision of whether one should move on in life or keep living with hope. Hope is a positive thing but sometimes after breakups, it is a hope that makes things worse, as in the sufferer continues suffering in hope, that everything would soon patch and again they will be together with their beloved. However, in reality, things are not so.
How to Deal with a Breakup as a Woman
Getting dumped by your boyfriend can be a traumatizing affair. But, surviving a breakup is much more difficult than the previous. However, this is not the end of world and you can easily survive a breakup if you follow these simple tips.
1. Do not put the blame on either of you
Women often feel ambivalent and blame themselves for the breakup, which is wrong. Think that it was neither your fault nor your partner’s; simply the end of line instead. Once you accept the fact that the relationship was dying anyway and today was its doomsday, you will start feeling better. A lot of positive self-affirmations are needed to stay strong and move forward. If it did not work after giving so much dedication and love, then your ex-partner was not worth it. God has someone better in store for you. This philosophy will clear your mind of all the guilt and anger. And when you are ready, you can date again.
2. Make a busy schedule
Broken hearts can be mended; all it takes is a few nights of drunken rivalry and many nights of tear-stained pillows. Now it is time for you to get back on track. Get your control back on life and start afresh. Make a busy routine of your regular activities, attend your classes, take up new assignments and visit your favorite pubs again. If you are not working, then get a job to hold your mind off him. Live your life and get those girls night outs back. A night at the Paddy Reilly’s with your friends will certainly help to get away from the break-up hangover. In short, hang out and do everything that was routine for you before. It will give you a sense of familiarity and comfort, as well as happiness.
3. Spend time with yourself
Take yourself out for dinner or spend a day at the parlor grooming yourself. After all, the solution to a break-up is a haircut. Trust me, you will again start feeling good about yourself. If you enjoy spending time with yourself, others will love your company too. Think of what interests you; is it reading or writing? Take a week off with the works of Harold Robbins or Charles Dickens along with your laptop to your favorite holiday destination. Start putting your feelings in writing. This will help spitting out all the unwanted remains you have in your mind, but make sure that being alone doesn’t mean you will end up thinking about your ex and get inside the depression cave.
You are SINGLE. So, make the most of it and spend money on yourself. Gift yourself the dress you always wanted to buy but dint get because your mate dint wants you to spend so much on just a dress. Believe me, you will start feeling that the guy never existed in your life.
4. Exercise regularly
This is one of my favorite ways to mend a broken heart. Exercise makes you feel better because it pumps your brain with endorphins which makes us feel good and happy. It also helps fight depression and builds confidence in you. Above all, it takes care of your extra pounds and makes you look attractive. Every girl wants to look good and feel confident and exercise is one best way to achieve it. Just start off with a walk around your block or to the nearest park for 20 minutes and feel the difference in you. After all, the foundation of a healthy mind is a healthy body.
5. Don’t try to camouflage your pain simply by finding a replacement
Getting on a rebound just because you want someone one to fill the gap might not be the best thing to do. You need to understand the need of the hour. However, you can avoid ambiguous feelings by just making a good friend and being smart enough by the side effect of emotional attachment. Nonetheless, my ultimate advice for you is be independent and don’t rely on anyone else for happiness. Avoid getting addict to a person so that you don’t end up with ‘rebound relationships’ one after the other. But if you are really looking forward to be with some other person, make sure you are completely over your ex-lover. I don’t think you would ever want to start a new journey with baggage left from the old one.
Don’t be disheartened and think that your life is not just going to be OK, but wonderful without your ex-mate. The reason he walked out of your life may just be the result of your future partner’s prayers. After all, you deserve someone much better than your ex-partner. You just did a mistake in choosing the right person, and just take it as a lesson. I bet you will be wiser in your decisions in future. Always remember, change is mandatory but suffering is optional.
6. Give yourself sometime
Human mind is unlike a computer memory from which you can easily delete stuff with a few clicks. Human mind takes a good deal of time to forget things, in fact it is not forgetting but our mind and heart learns to accept things as they are after some time. Whatever your emotions are, anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, regret, remorse, just bring them all out. There is no need to feel any embarrassment over the occurrence of emotions, as they are all normal. Give vent to all such emotions and you will certainly feel better and it will help you a lot to move on in life with optimism.
7. Stay in present
Human mind is usually filled with thoughts related to our past, present, and the future. After a breakup, try to stick your mind exclusively to the present thoughts, as the past memories only hurt and nothing else. For this matter, even the plans and thoughts that you had shared with your partner related to future will also hurt you. Therefore, the only way to save you from the pain and frustration is to stay in the present and forget about the past and the future. Stay in present and let the wounds heal naturally.
8. Learn a lesson
Breakups do hurt but they teach a lesson too and make one wise. One can learn important love lessons from breakups and use them to make their future relationships flawless and brimming with happiness. All of us term breakups as failures because we fail to realize the importance of the lesson that a break up teaches us. They make us better human beings as we get rid of our mistakes after learning about them. Breakups make us strong physically, emotionally and mentally, as they teach us not to solely depend upon another person.
What if you are still in love with him?
You have had just so many memories with him that you can’t stop thinking about him. So, you’ve cried and shed countless tears, stained many tissues, replayed sad love songs over and over again and you can’t even sleep right at night without thinking of him.
Alright! Wipe up those tears and get yourself together because it is time to get over him. These are some useful tips to deal with a breakup when you still love him.
1. Get yourself together
The first and the foremost thing you need to do is go take a shower, wear something classy, and wear a bit of makeup and get yourself together. Look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate yourself more. Now, change your surroundings. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him. Like the stuffed toys or gifts, donate them. I know it would be hard for you to do it but you have to let go of it eventually. Change the color of your room maybe, and make it livelier, more colorful? Change the sheets of your bed with something more colorful than they already are.
2. Change a bit of yourself
The next thing you need to do is change a bit of yourself if you want. Get a new haircut, or a new hair color would do it too. Spend some time on yourself; get a manicure and a pedicure. Now, surround yourself into different activities. Go back to your job if you have one, or look for some other activity that interests you. Or just paint your heart out! Explore yourself, do what makes you happy!
3. Go out with friends
Lastly, go out with your girlfriends; laugh till your stomach hurts! Have fun, gossip and take about cute guys. Talk about how you are feeling with them, share your pain, it would make you feel better. Have dinners and lunches with your friends and maybe when you are ready; go find that true love of yours who will appreciate for who you are.
Training your mind to get over breakup
The truth is that a breakup is never good. It is hard, it is painful and it shatters you temporarily. However, you must have come across people who managed to be in good spirits soon after their breakup, while some others who struggled hard to move forward with their life. This means that the way one behaves after a breakup depends completely on an individual.
If one sees its bright side, one remains happy and jolly thinking about the future possibilities, while clinging to the past and regretting only brings pain. You need to develop a positive mindset if you want to come out winning of such a negative event like a breakup. Here are some positive mindsets you can learn to get over a breakup asap:
1. Practice makes a woman perfect
It is but natural to feel after a breakup that all the years you invested in your partner are wasted. It would have been much better if you had invested such long years somewhere else, doing some better things and all that. The more you will allow such thoughts to take control of your mind, the worse the situation will become for you. On the other hand, if you start perceiving your broken relationship as a practice, things will become lot easier and more positive. Think that in all those years you both were together; you have learnt so many things that will come handy in future.
2. It ended but it was worth it
Too often, separated couples are found saying that our relationship ended because it just wasn’t worth it. Saying so, the pain and the agony a couple feels is unexplainable because deep inside they know their relationship was worth it but somehow it ended. Therefore, you should agree that your relationship was pretty great, it was absolutely worth it but now it is over. This way, you will be able to deal with the situation with quite an ease and confidence.
3. Letting go of an opportunity is the only way to avail another opportunity awaiting us
Whether it is a positive or a negative memory, you have to let go of it with time. You cannot rigidly stick to that one memory or experiences, thus ignoring so many that are ready to change you and your life. Take your breakup for example. Unless and until you decide to close this chapter of your life, you will not be able to enjoy and welcome a new chapter; probably that is lot more positive and pleasant than your previous chapter. You must forget your past and prepare yourself so that you are able to welcome your future with arms wide open.
4. Get up, dress up, show up, and never give up
If you have stopped getting ready the way you used to and you have kind of shunned laughter, happiness and outside world altogether after your breakup, think again. This way you are making your life vulnerable to the miseries that a breakup brings with itself. You do not want to be a victim but this practice of yours is making you no better than a victim. Wake up and face the reality. Try to make things easy and good for you, for you yourself are responsible for your happiness and sadness. Get properly dressed, go to parties, meet people and you will realize that nothing is over. In fact, a plethora of opportunities are awaiting your response. Do everything to keep the spirit of never giving up alive in you.
Breakups are tough and have extremely negative influences on our personalities. However, a positive mindset and with the required support of family and friends, one manages to get over this phase fast and with ease.
