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How to deal with shy children

Shyness is typical to about 50 percent of US adults and many children reveal this attribute. Depending on the way you handle and groom children, shyness can emerge more a help than a hindrance in their persona.

Every child is unique

Understand that your child is sensitive and caring, although slow to social relationships. Consider it an attribute rather than a problem. Contribute to easing your child’s shyness. This will decrease reluctance in your child, boosting up the confidence level to capture more opportunities in life. Help him/her overcome the resistance by deriving ways which can bring out the best within.

Show your appreciation through gestures (like hugging and praising). Being shy does not necessarily mean that he/she necessarily has a problem. It can be a virtue to materialize as a gentle yet strong human being. If you feel that shyness is overwhelming, consult an expert who can utilize resources for the best possible outcome.

Begin social skills early

There is a rising trend of shyness among children according to studies. To keep a check, it is important that you teach and generate social skills early in life. Beginning early leaves less scope for aggravating the attribute, which can increase as your child grows older.

There are many indigenous lessons you can give. Start from simple skills like saying ‘hello’ or introducing him/her to others (outside family). Make the learning sessions fun time. Do not impose, so that your child is less reluctant in adopting the lessons.

Help your child realize the significance of having good friends. Try arranging play dates. Sometimes, your child cannot understand signals and languages and need your assistance in grasping them. You get many books which explain the benefits and tools of teaching social skills early.

Be prepared to counter failure

Instead of worrying and panicking about failure, consider it a natural component of learning. Recognize that failure is integral to the learning process and should not be considered discouraging. Continue putting your efforts and make repeated attempts. Teach the same to your child. Prepare him/her to handle failure(s). And do not forget to reward him/her for attempting (of course, in addition to rewarding when he/she succeeds).

Emerging successful would seem too difficult unless children accept failures. A good scientist keeps attempting unless he/she gains the trick to succeed. Thomas Edison, inventor of light bulb, was a shy man. Before getting success, he (supposedly) attempted thousands of filaments.

Interests and hobbies act as tools

Shy children refrain from connecting to the outside world. You can help them establish this connection by recognizing their interests. Children gain opportunities to explore by indulging in hobbies.

You can identify their areas of interests. Give them multiple options to try their skills. Even if they do not find many options interesting, these can exercise their brains. They will be richer in their experiences at the end of the day.

Identify things which are discouraging. Individual lessons can be attempted if group lessons do not seem feasible. Your child may begin taking music lessons at home and gain confidence later to join a club or band in school. With time and practice, he/she will emerge more confident to engage in group activities. Opportunities for interaction with other children (within similar age-group) yield optimally.

Resist criticizing your child

When you repeatedly use ‘shy’ to describe your child, you push him/her deeper in the closet. Be alert and careful of symptoms, when you note any. You cannot pull your child out of shyness at once. Note your gestures (especially in public). Use more acceptable terms (like ‘reserved’ or ‘private’) instead of ‘shy’.

Create a comfortable environment which allows your child to develop naturally. When you want your child to talk to somebody (like any of your friends), tell him/her beforehand to behave in certain manner. May be a simple ‘hello’ and shake hand is sufficient to begin with. Do not expect your child to show all polite gestures instantly. Resist the temptation to be assertive even if he/she does not reveal appropriate gestures.

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