Bringing a child into your life is big decision; your life is bound to change after that. The big question is: are you ready for the changes that are going to follow? Ask yourself the following questions to clarify.
Why do you want to become a parent?
The first and the foremost question is the key to the future of your child, your spouse and you. The couple needs to understand clearly the impact of a child on their life. They need to discuss with each other why they want a baby.
Whether it is your own desire or is it because your spouse is insisting. Some people start thinking of having a baby just because it is the next thing in life, some because of their parent’s insistence.
According to a study, it is utmost important for the father of the child to have the desire for a baby. It has been observed that in cases where the fathers were unwilling for becoming a parent, the couple got divorced before the child was even seven years old. So, the couple must talk it through. Ask yourself another question, that is, are you and your spouse ready to take care of the needs of the child?
Are you prepared financially?
A new family member will have its own needs, are you ready for it? Having a baby is no child’s play, you need to know what is going to follow. There are scores of things that the baby will require.
Moreover, this will result in an increase in the overall spending. Well, as the child grows the requirements of the child are going to change and the expenses will keep rising. Ponder over these aspects and whenever you decide to have a baby, it is wise to have as saving beforehand.
Your relationship with your spouse
Yes, it is a key consideration factor too. The future of the child is going to rely upon how the parents gel together. According to experts, how couples communicate their thoughts, feelings and issues, say a lot about their relationship.
Some couples may think that their troubled relationship will improve after the birth of a child – according to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, this is a common mistake that couples make. The new issues that come after the birth of the baby just magnify the prior differences and the result is disastrous.
According to Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a family therapist, “A couple needs to have a healthy, satisfying relationship with a clear understanding of, and strategies for working with, the pitfalls in their relationship”.
Indicators that you are not ready yet
- If the relationship with your spouse is not stable, especially when there is physical abuse involved in it. Constant verbal abuse isn’t a good sign either.
- If the, would be parents are not serious about the financial matters and are neglectful in their behavior.
- If there is major difference amongst the couple and it involves loyalty issues.
- If the couple is not sure whether they want a child.
- If both or either of the partner’s is mentally ill or has a serious addiction issue.
All these are indictors that this is not the right time for having a child. Bringing in a child is foolishness, the life of an individual could be completely ruined in such situations.
The basic question that why do want a child in your life, is the driving factor amongst others that will help you decide. Your financial condition and goal in life along with relationship with your spouse should also be considered before turning a new chapter in life.