A mother is someone whom you look up to for everything in life. She is the one who has cared, supported, protected, and nurtured you to make you who you are today. Though there is nothing that can make up for the loss of your mother, it is important that you come to terms with your grief.
Grief and denial
The sudden shock and the denial that you feel can last for several days and even years until you get over it. Unbearable grief follows which too is a natural part of the coping process. It is very important for a person to grieve and bring out all the anguish and pain that you feel when your dear mother is lost. This will help in slowly recovering from the shock. Grieving is a very difficult phase when all the emotions, the love, and memories come flooding back to you and you lose all your energy and hope thinking about the fact that you cannot see your mother again in your lifetime. Remember that grief never actually ends and you will always grieve for your mother all through your life. But, the intensity will be surely reduced with every passing year and you will soon get accustomed to the loss.
With grief comes feelings of anger, dejection, betrayal, and finally acceptance. The time taken for each individual to get over these feelings varies based on how close he/she has been to his/her mother. Most of us get through these emotions within a month or two, while some others who have been very close could take years to get over these emotions and move on with life. Acceptance is a natural progression and a very essential one as such. Mind is fragile and when you cannot accept the loss of your mother, it can remain as a deep and open wound in your mind, gnawing at your emotions and feelings. When you remain in denial mode and cannot accept your motherâs death, it can affect your mental well being and entire existence. Therefore, if you have not been able to accept your motherâs death, it is important to seek counseling and psychiatric assistance.
Importance of talking
Talking about your mother to your near and dear ones will help you get out of the grieving phase and come to terms with the loss. Talking will also help you keep her memories alive and make you feel closer to her. It is always during family gatherings and special occasions that you will feel the pain of the loss as an empty feeling comes around your house. Talk to the people gathered around about your mother and relive the memories by sharing and caring for your mother. This is a great way to feel her together and to ease the pain. Others too would have many fond memories of your mother which you may not have known before. Take this as a great way to know and understand your mother much more than you have known her during her lifetime. Talking about your mother is one of the greatest ways to honor memories.
Though most of us get through the grief and pain of losing mother on our own through the support of our friends and relatives, there would be some who need that extra support and strength to come out of such a situation. These are the weak minded ones who cannot bear deep pain and loss. Such people need to be watched carefully as they can be very fragile-hearted and can snip under the pressure which can make them do dangerous deeds like taking their own life. This could be a child who was too close to her mother and cannot cope with the loss. If you discover such a trait in anyone, make sure that you have someone near the person all the time to support and keep watch until that person gets through the pain. Support groups can be formed by friends, relatives, and co-workers who can help the grieving person deal with the situation. Sometimes external help like counseling is required to reduce the grief.
Getting over your grief
As time passes, people tend to forget and get over all kinds of situations. A motherâs death too will ultimately be forgotten even though it will crop up in your mind every now and then. But, life has to go on and there are many more years for you to live and let live. Ensure that you do not remain idle and make way for more grief and despair. Get back to work, get involved in household activities, practice meditation, pray, go to church; do everything possible to get past the event so that you can lead your life normally.