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How to deal with a miserly father

[box_dark]If You Have a Miserly Father[/box_dark]

Miser, the word itself brings a negative connotation with it. For a child or for that matter a teenager, a miserly father may be a troubling issue. If a child’s wants are continuously not fulfilled, the child may get distances from his or her father. Ultimately this leads to the notion that the father is too miserly to help the child in any aspect of life.

What is to be clearly understood in this respect is that whether a father is really a miser or is being calculative about the child’s future. As a child grows up, his or her expectation also grows. However, as far as expectation is concerned, there should be a clear distinction between need and greed. As a son or daughter, you should ask yourself the following questions.

Is what I am asking right?

Is what I am asking beyond the means of my father?

Is my father providing me with the basic needs?

Is my father really being a miser or simply calculative and living within means?

[box_dark]What builds the notion?[/box_dark]

A child does not get the idea by himself or herself that the father is a miser. Many psychological and environmental factors go into creating the concept. One of the important things is peer pressure. You may think that your father is a miser just because he is not buying you a costly mobile phone while your friend proudly flaunts a pricey handset gifted to him by his father.

You might think that your father is neglecting you, but the reality may be otherwise. It might be true that your father does not want you to squander money like the ‘prodigal son’. Possibly your father is being a good guardian who wants to teach you to be disciplined and financially stable when you grow up.

[box_dark]When can you say that your father is a miser?[/box_dark]

A father always thinks about the well being of his children. But still if you doubt that your father is a miser, consider the following facts before deciding whether your father is a miser or not. Bear in mind that a true miser delights in doing something which brings pain to the normal man.

  • Your father is not taking care of your basic needs like food, clothing, shelter and education.
  • He is not interested in spending for your further education in spite of having adequate means.
  • He is showing off his means in public but is hesitant every time he spends a penny on you. Here you need to know that miserliness has almost no relationship with social standing. The rich and the poor can be equally misers.
  • Your father is hesitant to make any financial investments for health or any other future needs.
  • He is not interested in replacing any vital household amenities that are out of use, thinking it to be a waste of money. For example, if your father is not repairing the fan and making you sweat in the scorching summer, definitely he is acting miserly.

If the above incidents have happened in your life, don’t get shattered. It’s time to talk face to face and sort it out.

[box_dark]Face to Face  [/box_dark]

  • Explain to your father your basic needs (even though he might know it better than you) and how they are important.
  • Make him believe that you are mature enough to understand the importance of money.
  • Discuss with him the need to invest for the future.
  • And lastly, tell him that you a not a prodigal son! Save some pocket money and show him that you are also saving for the future.

Do not shy away from the fact that your father is a miser. Delve deep into the truth, take ownership of the situation and deal with it!

 

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Author, Chartered Consultant, Personal Branding Expert & Global Trainer at DrPrem.com
Author of several life improving guide books – Dr Prem is an award winning strategic global leader, successful chartered consultant, personal branding expert and global trainer.  Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries to work with above 150 international organisations and to speak in global conferences. Dr Prem has published several guide books and numerous niche websites which have millions of reader across the globe.
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi

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