A breakup is an emotionally draining event for any person, whether it is a man or a woman. It is a serious challenge for any person to deal with and finally overcome. However difficult it might be, one has to deal with the situation and move on in life for the better.
1. Accept the truth
It is important for you to accept the truth and acknowledge the fact that the relationship is over. Do not try to go into a denial mode as that would only prolong the pain and your suffering. Accept that she is only a part of your past and she is not going to be in your life anymore. There is no benefit in fighting against the truth or not seeing the matter eye-to-eye. If you keep the hope alive that you two will be together again then you will never be able to get over the relationship and the pain of the breakup.
2. Disconnect all ties with her
Do not keep in touch with her after the breakup. This is absolutely necessary to successfully cope with the breakup. Unless you are sure that meeting her or talking to her would not affect you badly or would not take you back to the old days, you must not keep in touch with her. Keeping in touch with her, talking to her, meeting her would not only increase your sadness but would also make you hopeful about the chances of the revival of the relationship. This might actually be bad for your well being and would only help to increase the span and intensity of your suffering and sorrow.
3. Do not blame yourself
Blaming yourself for the breakup or failure of the relationship will bring you nothing but more suffering and agony. If you start blaming yourself for the untimely death of the relationship then it would make you angry on yourself and might instigate you to be harsh to yourself. You may want to punish yourself if you start believing that you are responsible for the breakup. So refrain from thinking in that line or holding yourself responsible for the circumstance. Instead, be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself as much as you want. Give yourself just enough attention which might drift your mind from the breakup to your happiness and pleasures. Take good care of yourself, your appearance, and health. That would not only divert your mind from the breakup but would also make you feel good about yourself and fill you with positivity.
4. Keep yourself occupied
You must keep yourself busy so that you are left with the least time to think about the breakup. When your mind is not busy, it would bring back her thoughts and the times you have spent with her. You might be tempted by the devil inside you to abandon your work and social life and mourn in some corner of your home. But that is no way going to help you deal with the situation better. In fact, that would only make you feel more miserable about yourself and your life. Therefore, get up and get on with your life. Increase your social activities, meet with people, talk to friends and family, go out to places, engage in activities you love – in one phrase, keep yourself busy. Once you get busy with other things you will find that you are left with almost no time that you can devote to thinking about her or about the failed relationship. This would help you to move on faster than you would expect.
5. Give yourself time to heal
Yes, we know that however you would remain busy and keep yourself occupied, her memories and the thought of the breakup will come back to haunt you as soon as your mind gets the scope. When that happens, do not resist the thought and the pain. Let the feeling flow. To get over the pain, you must not resist the pain and keep it bottled up inside you. A breakup is the death of a relationship and just like the death of a loved one you need to mourn over it to diminish the pain. During this phase, you might also feel angry with her and may want to take revenge on her. This revengeful feeling or thought can only help you to relive the break up again and again thus causing more suffering to you.
So just let it go and discard all thoughts of harming her or taking revenge on her. At the same time, it is important that you don’t jump into a relationship just to get over the breakup. It might complicate matters more and may cause heartbreak of the other person. Give yourself time to get over your past relationship. Once you let time take control, you will soon find that you are being able to deal with the sad truth of the breakup quite well and the pain due to the breakup has slowly started to dissolve. After all Time, they say, is the best healer.
6. Be with your friends
Usually, breakups turn out to be a messed-up deal, regardless of the efforts you put in trying to make the cordial. It makes you feel disheartened, hurt, and rejected. You might feel that nothing is working in your favor. Everyone is going against you. Your friends can help you in dealing with this. Spend your time with your close friends. Go out, laugh, and enjoy with them. This would help you in bringing your life back on track and brighten up your mood.
Your friends can help you to heal your old wounds which occurred due to breakup. Share your sentiments with your friends. It would make you feel better, lighthearted, and optimistic.
7. Keep your space
When a relationship starts, both the partners want to spend most of their time with each other and there are always very high chances that they get used to each other’s company. It can lead to the deepest level of emotional attachment between them. So, when a breakup occurs, it can be very difficult for you to detach yourself from your ex-partner at an emotional level. It would be better to completely stay away from your ex without any kind of contact between you two, for at least 2 or 3 months.
After the breakup avoids any contact with your ex-partner. Even if both of you decide to stay friends after the breakup, just stay away and keep your personal space until you have fully recovered from your breakup. It means that you should not at all talk or meet with your ex. There should not be any phone calls, messaging, mails, or any kind of friendly meeting. If you both are present at some social event, it would be better to keep away from them. It would help you to come out of your self-imposed misery.
8. Let go off all your disheartening feelings
In order to cope up with your breakup, let go of all your feelings for your ex-partner. Holding onto your old feelings would just hurt you more and make you feel alone and dejected. Accept that your relationship is over. Whatever happened between you and your ex-partner is unalterable and now it’s time to let go of your past and embrace the future. Mistakes are made and it’s better to learn from them and let go of all regrets. Just because one relationship didn’t work, it doesn’t mean that others won’t work either.
If you don’t let go of all your negative feelings, things would become agonizing for you. Make ways for positive thoughts in your mind. Do the things you enjoy. Join classes to learn something new. Try new things, take a long vacation, or develop new hobbies. Rinse away all the hurt from your heart and pick yourself up to once again live your life.
9. Having regrets, not a good option
By no means regret any of your decisions about your relationship and never blame yourself for what went wrong. If you start rethinking about the decisions you made, you would just get more confused and start thinking about various kinds of ‘what ifs’. It would simply lead to regrets and self-doubt.
Instead of remembering bad things about your past relationship, remember the good times you had with your partner. Give yourself some time to pull through this and things would become better with time.
10. Seek a counselor’s aid
When you feel that it’s very difficult to get by your breakup on your own, take the help of an expert.
Most people tell you to forget the past and move on. They don’t exactly understand what’s really going in your mind and how you feel about the breakup. No one but you knows what exactly you are going through.
Hordes of reasons are possible which could lead to break up, though the causes may be different for every breakup. You might not understand all the reasons which eventually lead to the breakup. This would make you feel confused and make you doubt your choices.
Talking with your family and friends helps to a greater extent. But not everyone can open up their heart to others. In that scenario, you can get help from a counselor. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to talk to a stranger than family or friend. A counselor can help you in understanding your feelings and sort out your thoughts. They help you out in understanding what exactly in your relationship laid the foundation of the breakup.
You can share everything with your counselor without the fear of being judged. They would listen to you and help you in analyzing each stage of your relationship. This would help you in clearing your mind and think properly. Once everything is out, the counselor would help you to get back to your normal life.
11. Boost self-confidence
A heartbroken person loses self-confidence and sometimes thinks that he is not normal. This is something that worsens the situation of people who have just had a breakup. Such people should always think that the conditions are against him at present but soon everything will turn to normal, and you are not crazy, you are just out of balance owing to the present negative circumstances.
12. Love yourself
It is of paramount importance to love yourself always, and even more after a breakup. Usually, the dumped person starts to think that he is all alone and nobody loves him. This thinking elevates the mood of a person, makes him courageous and confident. People will only love you if you love yourself, so come what may never forget to love yourself.
13. Kill that hope
Although they say, that one should always be hopeful but in the case of a split-up, it is sometimes good to let go of hope. Unless you think there is a strong possibility of getting back together with your beloved, it is no point sitting all hopeful that you will reunite with your beloved soon. This kind of hope can be extremely dangerous for your mental health, as you will stay engrossed in thoughts of your ex and you would unnecessarily keep making plans that would do no good to you, rather they only hurt. It is better to kill that hope and think about the future possibilities that can change your life for good.
Final Words
Breaking up with someone with whom you were in a relationship for years, months, or even a few days hurts. The degree of pain and hurt varies depending upon the time, the intensity of love, the individual nature, and personality. Sometimes the pain felt over a breakup is similar to the pain one feels when some loved one dies. Breakups are threatening people’s health, especially mental health. Grieving over a split for some time is fine, even healthy, but not for a very long time, as it has a bad effect on a person’s health.
Breakups have a bad influence over a person’s health, and majorly on mental health. One needs to understand the risks, know their own situation, and most importantly, let go of the relationship.
