Teenagers living either in the nuclear or joint family have to face a number of problems when they are towards maturity. These problems can be related to body reflection, sibling enmity, teenage pregnancy, involved in sex, teen dating, schooling & employment, drugs & alcohol, consumption disorders, being over or underweight. Their lazy and acting up nature could be the main problem behind this. But, before you could solve these, there are three things that you should consider first.
Three Things You Should Do First
1. Discuss ways
Make an effort to talk about issues/problems/conflicts in an optimistic manner, devoid of losing your patience. It is better to discuss with your teenager as well as to cooperate and find a key that you both accept. Prove to him that you realize how he/she feels and that you are there to assist if looked for. Do not imagine being of the same mind with each other repeatedly. Try to know his/her outlook and let him/her make individual choices where doable. Try to select a good time to have a discussion, and tell clearly what you want to take place in particular circumstances. You may have to negotiate on some things. Be a good listener first and talker next.
2. Make them learn new things
Make teenagers learn numerous life skills for example; how to file an application for a driver license, self-protective driving, how to and from where to collect different application forms and where to submit those forms, appearing in interviews, financial planning, update general knowledge through print and electronic media, use of electronic gadgets, use a bank account, withdrawals and deposits, plan future and work accordingly etc. This will help them know a number of things they were looking for and ultimately they will generate interest in learning new things on a regular basis. Learning helps in solving problems easily.
3. Respect their feelings
Do not undervalue the depth of his/her feelings: be responsive. Their feeling is the softest and delicate thing in the world. If they share those feelings with you, respect their feelings. Do not laugh at them or take them for granted. It can hurt them. Tell them that you understand their feelings. Sharing some of your teenage experiences with them can make them feel better. Let teenagers know their family values. Ask for their suggestions too on a particular issue.
Dealing With the Lazy Nature of a Teen
Laziness is the worst enemy of human beings, especially for teenagers. If laziness isn’t discouraged at the initial stages itself, teenage children might suffer from physical as well as mental depression in the future. Here are a few simple tips to deal with lazy teenagers at ease.
1. Know the reason
Literally, there are a number of reasons for a person to become lazy. In general, children should be more active than adults at their young ages. But, today’s teenage generation is quite lazy when compared to adults. The advancements in technology, availability of varieties of entertainment, sophisticated lifestyle, etc., have not only fascinated the younger generation but also has made them lazy. Serious issues like drugs, smoking, and other kinds of addiction may also cause laziness in teenagers. You cannot solve the issue with teenagers at your home unless you become aware of the reasons for their laziness. Making a casual chat with your teenagers during the dinner or at the backyard could give you an opportunity to know their problems and agonies.
2. Motivate
Motivation is a widely known success principle that suits not only for business organizations but also for teenagers. Make them get exposed to pleasant nature and culture. As parents, you would know your children’s interest in sports and games. He/she may like the game which may not be quite interesting and beneficial to you. Still, encourage your children to take part in games of their interests. Let him/her join a sports club and support his/her talents. Provide sufficient nutrients and diets according to their requirements. One of the best ways to encourage your children in sports is by playing along with them. Take time to observe your children’s games and activities. Of course, every game has its own risks and limitations. But, if you fear them, then you may become the hindrance to your children’s well-being.
3. Work together
Teamwork is essential to complete any kind of job in a successful manner. Don’t hesitate to invite your teenage children to help you with your gardening work, cleaning work, and cooking as well. You would know your children’s capability level in doing the work. So, avoid over-burdening him/her. Give them some simple work like collecting the grasses, arranging the plates, cutting the vegetables, cleaning your car, buying grocery items from the supermarket, etc. Most of the teenagers will hate to do such jobs. You can get the work done easily and happily if you grant them something in return for their work. Indubitably, it will motivate them to finish their tasks. However, assign some marks for the quality of the job as well, so that they won’t complete their tasks in a hurry.
4. Allow mistakes
As elders, you know the right ways to approach your goals in life. But, the younger generation is quite unaware of them. Don’t prevent them from making mistakes by guiding them all the time. Allow them to make mistakes and learn from their own experiences. Although, it takes time and effort for one to understand the good values, forcing them to do something is merely useless. Teach positivity to the teenagers and encourage them whenever they fail in their efforts. Never be a barrier to their wishes in their life. Your encouragement and motivation will help them change their attitude. Substantially, you will see changes in their physical behavior as well. When you divert the teenager’s attention to his/her own interests, laziness will disappear involuntarily.
5. Observe
Observing teenagers’ activities is very essential. However, they might get annoyed if they realize your intentions. Don’t hesitate to give them generous freedom along with responsibilities as well. Instead of scolding your teenager about his/her laziness, make him/her become active by themselves. It helps them develop their own habits and lifestyle. Support them with their interests and wishes as much as you can. When your teenager faces critical situations in his/her life, a little smile or a warm hug from you can make a huge difference to them. Every human being possesses unique qualities and has their own likes and dislikes. Never compare your children with others. As you imply these techniques with your teenager, you will make them avert their laziness by themselves.
Dealing With the Acting Up Nature of Your Teen
1. Take action as early as possible
The first and foremost thing to do is to take proper action. If one ignores the problem, which is usually being done, it becomes too late to bring things again to normal. At such a stage, one should be able to admit that the current parenting techniques are not working for the kid and need to be reconsidered immediately. Whenever your teen continues to have various problems, there is definitely room for change so as to make things more streamlined for the kid as well as the entire family. If you happen to see or even feel that your kid is not leading a normal life and is indulging in various other things which may mar his career, life, and healthy living, it is your duty to immediately look for ways so that the kid might be brought back to normalcy.
2. Always seek help from other resources
When dealing with a teenager, you should realize that you may need to seek help from other resources as well. It is always advisable to find books, search the internet and more importantly ask friends if you are comfortable enough. These resources always prove to be helpful in the future. Reading the books thoroughly helps one to see what is wrong with his or her parenting and how they can change it in order to deal with the teen’s problems. Asking other parents is also a good exercise to do. One may also look for and join specific parent support groups. There are certain churches and other venues that provide such groups for parents. Active listening to what other parents follow and practice and understanding their parenting techniques can help you understand your own methods better and adjust to your child’s unique needs. This not only provides you with various aspects and ideas of dealing with teenagers but also proves to be a helpful technique for maintaining excellent parenting.
3. Communicate well with your kid
Communication is also a useful key when dealing with a teenager. All teens are inclined to react quickly to various problems in their life. It is a known fact that many parents find, at one stage or the other, that something which they have done or are currently doing is responsible for the behavior of their teen. If you find this out, then you can surely take steps to rectify the situation. You will never be able to understand your teen’s problems if you don’t communicate well with them. Listen to what your teen says and then decide to take steps to help them resolve the problem effectively. Talking to your teen on an equal playing field, like an adult, can also be helpful in communication and building trust. Trust is very important when dealing with teens and therefore should always be central to your approach. It is really difficult to deal with teens at various instances but one should never get discouraged by this or lose hope. Once all the problems are dealt with effectively, both the parents and teens would definitely be satisfied.
4. Trust your basic parental instinct
It is really important to trust your basic parental instincts. If at any stage you think that your teen might be using drugs, speak to them immediately on this issue as becoming a drug addict within the teenage is more common. Do not follow the blind faith that your teen has promised not to repeat any such mistake and he/she really won’t. It’s always better to probe and scrutinize such things. Trusting your teen is very important and a parent should always build up a good trust with the teen but such problems should always be taken care of immediately and on a priority basis. Problems don’t simply go away once ignored; they usually get worse. Do follow your instincts and communicate with your teen appropriately. This might solve the problems and improve your teenâs life much faster.
5. Never refrain from showing love, care, and concern to your kids
Even if your kid is behaving really abnormally and is getting out of your control, always remember your love, care and concern would prove to be a remedy for all such problems. No matter how difficult the situation has already become, love and concern could prove to be truly beneficial for you and your kid. Speak to them, evaluate their problems, and look for all the loopholes in your parenting and your kid’s understanding so as to reach a consensus. There is always a solution to such problems; the only important thing is to deal with them with patience and extreme precaution. More patience you show as a parent, to such problems, better resolutions you are likely to get.
Final Words
It is a known fact that dealing with teenagers is becoming quite challenging in today’s time. However, if you take specific steps in order to rectify any issues and lead a happier life with the child. Then, these problems would solve by themselves and your teenager would stand a higher chance of blossoming into a successful and happy adult.
