Love is a divine feeling and when this is converted into marriage it is unbeatable. When you love someone you do not look or see things like age, religion, and caste. You just fall in love without thinking about the consequences and the aftereffects. There are no age barriers and boundaries seen. But when you don’t see them doesn’t mean there are no issues practically. Age gap if it is more then there are few things that may crop up. Not necessary for these things to happen but they may happen. You always have solutions to problems and answers to your questions though.
The most significant issue crops up in the family. Especially if the girl is older than the guy it becomes a big problem. Girls are always the target, be it either way. Asian families face these kinds of complications more than western families.
1. It isn’t necessary to think alike in a relationship
Two people don’t always think alike. Each and every individual is different and is entitled to his or her right to an opinion. This is also applicable to people who are in a relationship. Sometimes, both partners can have a different opinion of the same thing. It is not bad to have different opinions unless it is on crucial matters such as marriage. Even in the latter case, one can always work it out. Sometimes, you will hardly have anything in common and still be able to love each other without any conditions. It is not of any importance if you both have the same opinion of everything or not. It is not even necessary. You might have different opinions of religion, of politics, of education, of men, of society, or of everything else in the world.
It is not necessary to look at things with the same eyes but it is important to respect each other’s point of view. If you two can get along, it doesn’t really matter who thinks how. If you respect each other’s person and opinion then, you guys are good to go. It is by no means necessary to think alike. It is not the end of the world if you find out that your partner doesn’t ever want to get married. You can come to a settlement such as a live-in, a written commitment, or something like that. If you are grown up enough to appreciate each other’s interests and opinions, nothing can take away the love that you have for each other.
2. Respect the Difference of Opinion
It isn’t all that difficult to appreciate and respect each other. You can very easily do so. There are numerous things that make two different people. If both of you are ready to accept the fact that you are absolutely different people and at times, are willing to step into each other’s word, you are going to have a long-lasting relationship. A few fights are healthy for a relationship. If you don’t fight at all, you need to re-examine your relationship. When 2 people are willing to respect and appreciate each other’s opinions and choices, it is going to be the best relationship in the world.
In fact, there goes an old saying that opposites attract. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. Opposites do attract. However, in order to keep the sparks going, it is important to respect each other. There are traits that separately mark the personalities of both of you. It is because of these traits that you fell in love with each other. Hence, respect and value those traits instead of letting them go, changing them or putting them down. These traits belong to both of you separately and make you two different people.
3. It is OK to be Different
In fact, a large number of things shape people. Two of you come from different backgrounds and different families and these things have turned you into the person you are. Hence, if you want to keep your relationship in place, keep the respect that you have for each other in place. You may be two poles of the equator but there must be something in there that you fell in love. Keep that going! If you try to bring the north pole to the South Pole or vice versa, it is obviously going to create problems on the equator. Hence let the two ends remain where they are. Remember that they meet at the equator?
A lot of things happen between two people in a relationship. Sometimes, a person may turn out to be conservative and the other person may turn out to be too forward and outgoing and they still turn out to be inseparable from each other. This is because both of them understand and accept the differences that exist between two people and don’t try to impose on each other. It isn’t for nothing that two people from absolutely different religions fall unconditionally in love. Of course, it is because they are tolerant of each other’s religious ideas. The same concept also applies to regular life.
4. Understand your partner’s point of view
These gap issues can be taken care of by being understanding and thinking from the thought process of your partner’s level. This helps in understanding the way your partner thinks. Most of the times, in Asian families, it happens that they marry their daughters to a person who is way older than her age. She has to cope with this age gap and understand what her partner’s needs are. The partner is not someone she loves. When the person is someone you love, there are more chances of your wavelength to match. When you choose someone yourself you know what you are doing so there are adjustments but not grave ones.
5. Find solutions together
Talking about relations there are always some or other problems in every relation. There are equal solutions for the same as well. One of the problems is long-distance relationships or even distance in relationships. These distances can be taken care of. You can come to compromising conclusions in this matter. Trust is the major factor where there is distance. If you trust your partner enough half of your problems end right there. Keep on talking and stay connected. That is one way you will always know what your partner is doing and there will be fewer chances of any kind of doubts.
6. Be Open
You should always be open to your partner about everything. It happens that you or your partner may get frustrated with the distance. But the other half should understand that it is the situation that is bad and not the person himself. Distances make partners nervous. The solution to this is keeping your partner informed of your whereabouts and your activities. The more understanding both are the easier things are. Due to the distance and inability to be with you, your partner might get hyper or irritated and nervous about you not informing them about something. But this is a sensitive situation where you have to keep your cool and make your partner understand the scenario. They will understand. You just have to speak and clear things.
7. Stay in Touch All Day
For certain finicky situations, it is always to keep your partner’s friend’s number for safety. If something happens to your partner or if your partner is not reachable you can somehow contact this friend and then inform them or get the information. But see to it that you don’t over-do things. Care and concern are good but for a certain limit. You cannot keep calling this friend to keep a watch on your partner. This is wrong and this is exactly where the trust factor comes in.
8. Try to bridge the gap between both of you
It is a false conception that long-distance relationships or relations with more distances don’t work. Things work if you want them to work. You have so many things to get connected to nowadays. The Internet is one big solution to most of the distance problems nowadays. One-click and you are open to various things that can link you to your partner. Video calls are very helpful for couples who miss seeing each other for a long time. You can chat in real-time with these solutions. If your partner is abroad, even then these internet solutions are the best to look for. With different social networking sites, the world has changed completely. Now you can share and keep in touch with photographs and videos. You should talk and talk and talk. This is one best thing you can do.
9. Make adjustments
Whenever you have a chance you can adjust and meet each other. Though you cannot meet your partner every day you can manage some particular time and meet. When you spend this time together, see to it that no other thing clashes with your personal time. Then let be it meeting other friends or corporate stuff. Everything should be left aside for your beloved’s time. When you meet see to it that you make it special for your partner and that you both enjoy the time being together without any second thoughts.
10. Do not expect unrealistic things
You should always expect things that you know your partner can fulfill. Unrealistic expectations can create rifts. Distances sometimes cause partners to lose interest in each other. This is something which you should avoid. When you love someone there is no expiry date for it. You love someone forever. Either of you can switch job places to stay with each other. If work is the issue then you might as well find some time on the weekend or catch up for one meal time. If your workplaces are nearby you can both catch up with each other for lunch or may behave dinner together.
11. Listen more
The biggest reason why couples usually get involved in arguments is that they focus more on keeping their point of view in front of their partners and fail to listen to them. Try to listen to what your partner has to say as the more you listen, the easier it gets to solve the problem. Moreover, it helps you understand your partner even better.
12. Use sense of humor
A sense of humor can help you divert your attention. It helps you ease the pain and keeps you up spirit. There are couples who chose to take it easy and believe in living a happy life. Sometimes the problems you have in your relationships keep you from appreciating your blessings. Psychologists believe that it’s is quite easy to get a solution of problems if you keep yourself in a light mood since it helps you develop a neutral perspective to look at your life.
13. Empathize with your partner
It is always easy to understand the viewpoint of another person if you keep yourself in his/her place for a moment. For example, if your partner needs some personal space to spend time with his/her friends you must try to relate with it. Try to look at things from his/her perspective before you make a decision.
14. Do not mention the past
When couples get into an argument, they say countless things to hurt their partners and it is all right until they cross their limits. Do not bring up the past at any cost since the past brings along the memory that hurt more than anything else. These memories are not only painful for your partner but can keep troubling you for days to come. Sometimes such mistakes can cost you a beautiful relationship and change things forever. Do not argue but keep your opinion to clear the air.
15. Time out
The better option is to leave the place for a minute or two and calm yourself down so that you can think logically. It also gives some time to your partner to think over the issue with a cool mind. If you exercise this strategy, you would see that things become easier when after a time out. Come back to your partner and discuss the issue if he/she feels comfortable. The strategy works just fine when your partner seems out of control. It’s good not to say or do things that make a pile of regrets for you.
16. Get to the root cause
It is always easier to get away out once you get to the nub of the matter. Sit alone in a corner and think over the issue once again to understand what actually went wrong. Once you get to the root cause of the problem and solve it, you can make sure it does not happen even in the future.
17. Things could get worse
You must not overlook the fact that things could get worse at times. Sometimes reoccurring arguments can spoil the beautiful relationship your share with your partner. Nothing could be worse than the regret that you made a mistake that stole your happiness forever.
You cannot deny the fact that the arguments you have with your partner can take the form a contest at times. Arguments are essential but make sure they do not keep you from loving your partner.
Final Words
A relationship isn’t going to work out if the difference of opinion isn’t acknowledged. Somewhere down the line, you will have to agree to disagree in order to work things out. However, if you keep hoping that you two will start thinking along the same lines, it will never work out. Learn to acknowledge and accept the differences and if you can love the other person in spite of it, you have got it going. Also, make sure that the other party acknowledges and accepts your opinion as well. The one-sided effort has never saved a relationship and never will. It is the job of two people.
Keeping each other happy in some or the other way is important. Marriage is a sweet bond of relation. You should always take care that you love your spouse more than the first day. If that is your motto then nothing can break you both up.
