Amongst men, crazy wife, and psycho girlfriend might be two of the most popular stereotypes. For a large part, just like most of the other stereotypes, these too have very little basis and are mostly popularized by mainstream media. However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist at all. A huge percentage of the human population suffers from psychological disorders, and if your wife happens to be one, maybe it is time you take her to a counselor. But if even that doesn’t help, or if you think you can handle her on your own, here are 5 ways how you can deal with a crazy wife.
Is your wife really crazy?
Before discussing how to deal with a crazy wife, you should first figure out whether she is really crazy or whether it’s all in your imagination. It is natural for a woman to get crazy at times. It directly or indirectly depends on the situation she may be in. Crazy wives’ tales are seemingly old. There is nothing very new about it. Every husband or a man needs to know the ways to deal with them though. So, let’s read on to know some ways to deal with a crazy wife.
How to deal with a crazy wife
1. Nothing lasts forever
No matter what breaks loose, do not lose your temper. Be calm and tolerant with every matter connected with your crazy wife. Your wife may go out of her way to irritate you or she could turn to be violent, but just be composed and stay calm. Even when her goal is to get you to lose your composure, you need to understand that it is going to be alright soon and not to reciprocate to her actions. Self-control would be quintessential while dealing with such people.
Toleration pays off, but it certainly takes time. Sometimes the situation would speak on your behalf. It may even help you solve too many misconceived ideas surrounding you and your wife. All said and done, the right thing would happen at the right time. So, try not to lose your temper over your crazy wife. Agree with her and try to tune in, to close the missing link.
2. Bring harmony into the relationship
Life is certainly full of surprises and roller coaster rides. It isn’t perfect without the fights and patches. It might be possible that the problem is not completely for her side only. So, try to work on bringing harmony into your relationship with your wife, no matter how crazy she may appear to be. It may sound a little harder, but it is never impossible.
Make an attempt and a constant effort to build a harmonious relationship between you and her. If part of the problem is from your end, then this would benefit the relation in the long term.
The objective here has to be to attain peace and not enmity. Build trust in your relationship with her and avoid every loop that hinders her trust in you. Have an open door for communication and solutions. Work out a way where both of you can achieve workable results which will be applicable for both of you.
Most of the time, your agendas may never match. Even so, look at linking your actions with harmony to achieve any common goal.
3. Understand your wife
People say it is impossible to understand women. It is partially true, but still, there’s nothing bad in making an effort. Every woman has her time and her seasons to deal with. Allow and help her release her emotions. It could be anger, hatred, sorrow, bitterness and so on. The mood swings may vary or change depending on the situations that she is in. She could be too overprotective and very defensive at the same time. But, understand that she is still beautiful and good with all those swings attached to her.
Emotions play a prominent role too. However, in this regard, not everything that your wife says is meant to be taken personally. Discern the needs that she has and then pay attention to those things which are worthwhile. Try to be balanced even when there is an attack aimed intentionally at you. Somethings just don’t change. You’ve got to get along with the wind, by adjusting your sails.
Give some space to let her be what she is wanting to be, with care and concern. In some cases, if she has a mental condition or a challenge, be watchful and do not take what she says or exhibits, personally.
4. Discover the ground reason
Sometimes the ground reason for her negative attitude towards could be something else. Her negative or irritating attitude towards you could have stemmed from her horrible feeling of insecurity about something or someone. Rarely discussed matters like lack of intimacy could be the reason behind this.
This feeling of insecurity could lead to hostile, irrational, irate attitude towards people. Though she suffers this all by herself, she tries to express it quite subtly on you. She may try to pick her battles due to her insecure thoughts or feelings. You will never know why she is behaving so indifferently about certain matters.
She may be expecting to see if you still care for her. She would constantly ask you to do things and communicate with her.
So you’ve got to locate her areas of insecurity and deal with them first. If there are issues related to complicated situations, then you may have to talk about it, seek guidance from a relationship expert and then work at it. Ignorance could deepen the hurt and weaken your existing relationship with one another. Make a move and make a difference. Take time to pray for her when she’s low and down with such attacks. Things may get better.
5. Understand and communicate
The first thing we need to understand is that women are also human, just like men. Their ways of dealing with relationships are very different and unique when compared to men. Communicate your thoughts and your views with her. Be clear in making a point and listen to her. Ask her what is wrong. Some things surely would bug her about you. Try not to be resistant about what she brings to the table. The idea is that she wants to talk about their feelings and expect you to understand how they’re feeling. A small discussion on topics that might seem unpleasant to either or both of you might save you plenty of future troubles.
You’ve got to be mentally prepared for some challenges. She could be depressed for some valid reason or she must have lost her job opportunity. It all happens. Try not to offer her suggestions or advice unless she really needs it or asks for it. Speak the truth and communicate peacefully.
Find out what is bothering her and if it is about you, then encourage her to point out the difference. By understanding and communicating, you are proving her that you care about her.
6. Do not get offensive
A woman is very dangerous when she is in her worst mood, her behavior may be unreasonable at time but you have to accept that she is not so generally and make allowances. Do not try to justify your actions and comments which have resulted in her getting angry. Do not defend yourself and point out your partners mistake when they are angry, this can be done when things have cooled down. Right now your priority is to calm her down so don’t drag her into debates because chances of her being reasonable and fair are very slim. You should not allow her temper to ignite you and you have to stay calm no matter what. Refrain from walking away from her or hanging up the phone, let her say what she wants to because it will help her get it out her mind.
7. Take care of her responsibilities
When your wife is angry and bothered and is still made to do all her household chores, it is bound to irritate her further. She is annoyed and wants some special treatment, so make sure you provide her with that and not let her feel abandoned. Make her feel special by helping out in her daily chores, manage your own meals, take care of the children, etc. Do not be demanding at all in such situations, else it will make your wife think that you are absolutely indifferent to her pain. If possible, come home early or skip going to work till she is feeling better. She will definitely not miss this gesture of yours and respect your dedication towards her.
8. Do not hold on to resentments
One thing you should always remember is that when a person is in a bad mood, they say things which they don’t mean. These aren’t carefully thought out words and are said just to vent out the frustration. Do not hold on resentments and allow yourself to forget what they have said. Do not try to bring back old memories of arguments that you have had in the past because your wife will also have some too. Try to forget what has happened and if something which your wife has said is hurting you, then wait for the right moment to discuss it. Giving yourself some time may also dissolve things and make it unimportant to be discussed, hence avoiding another session of heated arguments. Keep reminding yourself that she is not so rude generally and will be back to normal as soon as you have heard her out.
How to deal when your wife is nagging on top of it?
1. Try to understand the reason of nagging
It is very unlikely that your wife will start nagging without a real cause. If she is nagging, then there is surely a reason behind it. Try to find out the reason and understand her concern. If you notice her nagging trend, then you will also understand what pulls the trigger of her nagging. So, listen to her when she is nagging and try to understand the reason of it. Mostly, she would take on nagging just to remind you of your responsibilities, or of something that you promised to deliver or for something that will ultimately bring benefit to you. So, instead of ignoring her words, take note of them so that you can determine the cause behind the nagging and sort out the issue.
2. Talk to her about the issue
Sit and talk to her about her nagging habit. Discuss the matter openly with her. Tell her how much you feel disturbed by her continuous nagging. Let her understand your point of view too. If her nagging involves a valid reason or a reasonable cause, then come to a mutual agreement or find a solution to it mutually. If she is putting some unreasonable demand, then explain to her that her nagging would not help her simply because the reason or cause is not acceptable. If she is trying to make you do something that you do not like to do or do not want to do, then tell her directly so that her nagging stops then and there.
You can however try to get that work done by someone else or else she herself can take care of the chore. Whatever it might be, tell her about your thoughts, intentions or willingness clearly. Never ever use harsh words for her, either when she is nagging or while discussing about her nagging habit with her. If you think that the discussion will not bear any fruit and it’s only making you lose your temper, then leave the room immediately.
3. Promise only what you can do and do what you promise
Do not commit anything or any task that you don’t want to do or that you won’t do. And if you promise to do something, then make sure you deliver the same and keep your promise. Make this a thumb rule for yourself and do not break this rule. If you tend to forget about tasks and chores, then maintain a list of the pending chores you promised your wife to take care of. You can also set reminders in your cell phone, so that you do not miss out on doing things and also take care of your responsibilities on time. Try to bring a balance in the responsibilities by sharing tasks and responsibilities with her. Do not try to shoulder all of it alone neither burden her by placing all responsibilities on her. Take interest in life, family life, relationships and related responsibilities. If you show willingness in taking responsibilities as well as fulfilling them on time, then she would have nothing to nag you about.
4. Distract her
When she starts nagging or you get a clue that it’s about to start, distract her. Appreciate her concern and efforts that she puts in managing her responsibilities, family and you. Compliment her for her looks, dress or anything else that you know would please her when she hears it. Use humor to make her smile. Basically, do anything that would take her mind off the matter that is making her nag. But remember not to offend her by your words or behavior while trying to distract her. She may not take jokes on her too kindly when she is trying to put her point of concern, worry or affection in front of you through her nagging behavior.
5. Spend some quality time with her
Include some hours of ‘couple time’ in your busy routine. You do not need to reserve time every single day but make sure that you spend sufficient time with her frequently. Use this time to increase the understanding between you two. Discuss things related to your life and marriage. Talk about things that bother you or her, or things that you want to improve about each other, your aspirations, dreams and wishes, etc. Listen to her carefully and with genuine interest and also try to understand what and how she feels about various things related to your and her life. This will help you connect with her better and understand her too. It will also cease or at least decrease, her nagging tendency.